this blog is now an archive! carmy can be found at @burnedown!
Stranger Things

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

blake kathryn
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
todays bird
Monterey Bay Aquarium
trying on a metaphor
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Cosmic Funnies

@theartofmadeline

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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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shark vs the universe
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Game of Thrones Daily
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

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@burnedown-a
this blog is now an archive! carmy can be found at @burnedown!

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this blog is now an archive! carmy can be found at @burnedown!
a tilt in her head , and the ghost of amusement on her features . “ please tell me there's ghosts in your walk in freezer . with enough embellishing , i'm sure we could get zak bagans to come lock himself in the restaurant for the night . ”
“ yeah, i have no idea who the fuck that is. ” fingers drag through curls, hairline sweat-slick from the heat of the kitchen. ❪ prep for service merciless, cruel in its demand ❫. cigarette smoke punched from lungs in a weary sigh. “ but i'm pretty sure the only thing we've got in our freezer is a whole fuckin' load of health code violations. ”
DEAR BROTHER. . .
carmen & michael b.erzatto, a web weave
LANDON MCQUEEN ❪ @cityracing ❫ : it kind of tastes like a, um, minty snickers bar.
“ right — yeah, exactly. ” he offers a smile intended to be reassuring, praise reflected in the half-formed curl of lips. ❪ gaze lingering a heartbeat too long, studying the sharp edge of landon's jaw, the curve of cheekbones under harsh fluorescent lighting ❫. a steady breath as he forces himself to ignore the fluttering low in his belly, the heat that curls between his ribs like a stovetop flickering to life. attention shifting back to plate sat between them, a return to safe ground, the whole reason he was even here. “ it's a mint gelée with a caramel and peanut cracker, and a set vanilla cream. ” the spoon balanced in his grasp tapped back and forth between fingertips, a displacement of nervous energy. “ so, what do you think? you wanna try making it yourself, chef? ”

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@burnedown gets a starter !
The fact that she had even said YES to going to this wedding in the first place felt all the more bizarre. Her mind couldn't seem to let go of the request, a favor for Richie that even NOW felt distinctly out of character for them both; growth and kindness always looked all the more confusing in the light of day.
Either way, she had broken free from the continued small talk of the party for a moment of solace. Peace and quiet from the impending doom of her own mind that rotated through the wellbeing of her father, the new regret of a profound decision, and all the other chaos that seemed to beg for attention in the midst of pleasantries and introductions.
"Fuck-" she breathed out, glass raised to take a small sip of champagne on the porch before her gaze caught a familiar set of eyes. "Shit. I mean, not shit to seeing you. You're fine, I just-" Sydney rambled on, head shook from side to side before her eyes looked down at her heels. "Just sort of thought I was going to be alone out here. Guess you can't really hide at a wedding, huh?"
it was moments like these he missed smoking the most ; missed the familiar texture of paper and filter, missed the way smoke burned in his lungs. scorched heat an instant balm to frayed nerves, cauterising the wound. a welcome distraction when the chaos got too loud. ❪ and here, now, the chaos was louder than ever. a room full of memories and avoided conversations ❫. the past colliding with the present in a way that makes his skin feel too tight, ache blooming in his chest. jaw clenched firm around nicotine gum, the flavour long faded but something soothing offered by repetitive chewing motion. a brief flash of irritation when the silence is disturbed until he realises who it is joining him.
“ yeah, i guess not. ” people eager to make up for lost time, to take the opportunity to reconnect with everyone gathered together in one room. the pressure of it all quick to rise up, surging over him in a crashing wave. distracting himself from it then by studying the blends of colour on her dress, vibrant hues reminding him of mint and sage and saffron. “ it's a lot, right? in there. ” he glances to balcony doors, sheer glass a thin barrier between them and the festivities within. “ you good though? ”
been mulling it over and i think for now i'm going to close carmy to any new romantic ships. i want to focus on developing the ships i already have and exploring those dynamics in more depth. that said, all other types of platonic dynamics are welcome!
&. 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.
( dialogue prompts taken from the second season of hulu's the bear, created by christopher storer. feel free to edit and change as you seem fit. )
❛ you ever think about purpose? ❜
❛ i love you, but i do not have time for this, alright? ❜
❛ i have time for this. ❜
❛ you know what the fuck you're doing. you love this shit. it's fun for you. i don't have that. ❜
❛ i'm afraid one day, i'm gonna wake up and you guys are all just gonna just drop this ass. ❜
❛ if this shit is not fun for you, what the fuck is fun for you? ❜
❛ i'm not making the same mistakes i made last time. ❜
❛ what kind of insurance coverage do we have for people falling through the fucking wall? ❜
❛ sometimes, i look like february. ❜
❛ you want a sprite? you look kinda green. ❜
❛ can i ask you something and you can tell me to fuck off if you want? ❜
❛ chef, that's way too much acid. ❜
❛ you, uh, making a sundae? ❜
❛ that actually sounds delicious. ❜
❛ because you're the bear and i remember you. ❜
❛ i love taking care of you. and i always will. you know that? ❜
❛ i'm glad i came 'cause i get to eat this. ❜
❛ i gotta come up with three really great desserts. you got any ideas? ❜
❛ you ever made ice cream before, chef? want to? ❜
❛ it kind of tastes like a, um... minty snickers bar. ❜
❛ so how long you been a cook? ❜
❛ how’d you get good at this? ❜
❛ you can spend all the time in the world in here, but if you don't spend enough time out there... you know? ❜
❛ speaking of dead brothers, do you wanna go to a party? ❜
❛ it looks so pretty on you. you should keep it. ❜
❛ what's going on with you? i know there's something. just tell me. ❜
❛ what are you talking about, i don't give a fuck? why would you say that to me? i give like a huge fuck. ❜
❛ you're not by yourself, alright? i'm right here with you. ❜
❛ did you just throw a fork at me? ❜
❛ i think time spent doing this is time well spent. ❜
❛ never too late to start over. ❜
❛ i just want you to know... that this is really nice. ❜
❛ i'm thinking you're very, very beautiful. ❜
❛ we just don't say hello anymore? ❜
❛ you're wearing a suit? ❜
❛ uh, yeah, i wear suits now. ❜
❛ i'm sorry if i took anything out on you and if I treated you like shit. ❜
❛ i actually do think that we could fit good together. ❜
❛ i could be good at things that you don't really wanna do. and you're obviously really great at a whole bunch of stuff that I don't know how to do, you know? ❜
❛ i'm wearing a suit 'cause it makes me feel better about myself. ❜
❛ i know that you're trying. i see that you're trying. ❜
❛ you just came from a funeral? ❜
❛ yeah, a funeral of all my enemies. ❜
❛ you want me to make you some coffee? ❜
❛ i just need your focus like you need mine. ❜
❛ you good? ❜
❛ what's your relationship with your mom like? ❜
❛ alright, chef, i need you to salt that like a sidewalk. ❜
❛ looks gorgeous, chef. ❜
❛ i haven't eaten yet. ❜
❛ oh, let me make you something. ❜
❛ yeah, i can make you an omelet. ❜
❛ that wasn't like an ask out or anything, was it? ❜
❛ i'm looking really good. i 'm thinking you should start calling me chef. ❜
❛ well, i'mma keep calling you jagoff, 'cause that's what you like. ❜
❛ you deserve my full focus. ❜
❛ i guess i'm scared that i don't have what it takes to not fuck this up. ❜
❛ you're not gonna fuck it up. ❜
❛ i fuck things up all the time, like, every day. ❜
❛ you could do this without me. ❜
❛ i couldn't do it without you. i wouldn't even wanna to do it without you. ❜
❛ you make me better at this. ❜
❛ you still love to cook, right? ❜
❛ how's the wine? ❜
❛ yo. we're low on forks, chef. ❜
❛ okay, let's start firing some caviar, please. ❜
❛ i was just gonna say how special and cool and great this place is and how i'm the most proud of you ever. ❜
❛ i really appreciate you being so patient with me. ❜
❛ do i have time to go outside and scream "fuck"? ❜
❛ just don't tell them you saw me, 'cause this is embarrassing. ❜
❛ i love them so much. i don't know how to show it. ❜
❛ i don't know how to say i'm sorry. ❜
❛ i need you to say it's okay. ❜
❛ you are being so fucking weird, man. ❜
❛ i'm stuck in a goddamn refrigerator on the opening night of my fucking restaurant. ❜
❛ i failed you guys and it's not gonna happen again. ❜
❛ maybe i'm just not built for this. ❜
❛ because no amount of good is worth how terrible this feels. ❜
❛ i'm really sorry you feel that way. ❜
❛ would you shut the fuck up and get me the fuck outta here, please? ❜
❛ i don't understand why you can't just let something good happen for once in your fucking life? ❜
❛ you wanna talk to me about my fucking kid? at least i got a kid. ❜
❛ where were you when i fucking put your brother in the ground, you selfish piece of shit? ❜
❛ i fucking love you! ❜
❛ you fucking need me. ❜
❛ i just had this sudden urge to tell you that i've always had this, like, massive crush on you. ❜
❛ i love you, chef. ❜
white smoke is exhaled through nostrils after having taken a steady puff , holding it in for a few seconds . with vape still in their hand , head leans to the side before leaning against door frame . ❛ ⠀ here i thought you'd be so happy to see me . ⠀ ❜ in reality , they could have announced their impromptu visit rather than showing up unannounced && with gifts no less . head nods towards the small box placed on the table , object in hand sliding into the pocket of pants . ❛ ⠀ you said no expensive stuff , so i brought you some cooking books , is that alright ? i can return them.. . get you something different . but you won't get to complain over the price . ⠀ ❜
guilt stabs into him, slides clean between his ribs like a freshly sharpened knife. contrition reminiscent of steel's cold bite when he realises the abruptness of his greeting. ❪ words escaping him in the aftermath of surprise, taken aback by the other's sudden appearance ❫. thoughts a frantic churn to process them standing in front him. “ no, shit — sorry. ” he steps forward then, capturing rhaenyra in a brief, one-armed hug ; the embrace only lasting a moment before he pulls back. “ it's good to see you. i just wasn't expecting it. you didn't think to, like, call first or whatever? ” though intonation is lighter then, gaze shifting to the unopened parcel. “ you didn't have to get me anything. . . ”
me and the hubby are off to see australian p.ink f.loyd this evening so it is necessary to shout out comfortably numb for being carmy's official soundtrack

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Jeremy Allen White as Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto The Bear | S04E05
JASON TODD ❪ @hoodred ❫ : what would you say to some breakfast?
it is a sight he is still getting used to : jason bathed in pale morning light, sweatpants slung low on his hips, sleep rumpled and soft. ❪ warmth blooming at his core, a flush of contentment to watch the other occupy the small space of his apartment, remembering how their bodies felt tangled together the night before ❫. such a lazy intimacy he is rarely afforded, kitchen always demanding his time from the earliest hours, the harsh routine of it granting little reprieve. but rare day off permits him this ; laminated floor cold beneath bare feet, palms curled loose around a mug of coffee half empty. nail dragging along ceramic rim, tapping out an arrhythmic beat. “ shouldn't i be in charge of breakfast? ” the idea of sitting, waiting in stillness, at odds with a restless instinct. ❪ food his way of expressing things unspoken, of showing that he cared ❫. the corner of his lips tilting into a small smile, gentle but insistent. “ i'm the chef, right? ”
sexual preferences.
bold = yes. italicized = maybe/dependent on partner. strikethrough = no/doesn't apply. blank = no preference. bold + italicized = absolute favorites.
it was not hard for one to tell that he was bothered . however , nell knew better than to press too hard . had she been in his shoes , she doubted that she would appreciate the nosiness of someone new to her . not that she ever appreciated someone being nosy normally . the crains were fairly private people after the incident at hill house . too many times had people tried to ask the children : what really happened in there ? attention snaps back to him , and she offers him a soft smile when he speaks . ( goodness , that is a sound that she could find herself becoming fond of and wishing to hear more ) . a laugh falls from blush painted lips , followed by a shake of her head . ❝ how were you to know ? ❞ he had been blindsided and it was clear as day . ❝ far from terrible . i'm happy to be here . . . ❞ with you .
reassurances ease some of the tension in his chest, dampening the panic before it can truly catch fire. the warmth of her words, the way she smiles easy and bright, enough to extinguish the embers. ( the ground not tearing open beneath his feet, nothing ruined or beyond repair ). realisation allowing him to inhale and exhale freely, air seeming lighter in his lungs. his response an admission pitched low, soft between them. “ i just — i, uh, don't wanna fuck it up, you know? ” his past attempts at relationships only ever ending in self-sabotage and heartache, a pattern he was only now slowly learning how to break. nerves steeled to reach out then and catch her hand, thumb dragging slightly over her knuckles ; his skin still rough from long hours peeling and chopping and stirring and plating. “ cos i'm happy to be here too. . . ” even despite the missing jacket.
" i think you're a chef, " jason replied around a mouthful of sandwich, then shrugged, " and anybody chef tryna do what you're doin's gotta like chaos at least a little bit. likin' something and enjoyin' it doesn't have to be the same thing, carm. "
fingers flex against tabletop, sliding over lacquered wood, surfaces already well-polished in preparation for the next day's service. ( the gleam of chrome and glass and porcelain a contrast to the dull grey streets beyond ). his gaze drifting there, watching where rain hits tarmac, passersby hunched down against the bitter cold. silence stretching for one breath, two, exhalation fogging up the windowpane. “ i dunno. sometimes i think maybe i just don't know how to do anything else. ” chaos instilled in him as a child, housed deep within his bones as much as it infects the city surrounding them. “ do you like it — the chaos? ”

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A PEEK INSIDE. . . CARMY'S CD COLLECTION, @ruinedmyself
01. sound of silver, lcd soundsystem 02. august and everything after, counting crows 03. ill communication, beastie boys 04. nebraska, bruce springsteen 05. to pimp a butterfly, kendrick lamar 06. favourite worst nightmare, arctic monkeys 07. mellon collie and the infinite sadness, the smashing pumpkins 08. ten, pearl jam 09. bleach, nirvana
she'd been sitting on the pavement, back against a brick wall as people continued to walk by her. the city was a change in pace from the quiet of country. louder and more crowded. the air carried scents unfamiliar to the fresh air she had been so accustomed to. soon it drops in front of her, a wrapped sandwich - the original beef. the assumption likely was that she was homeless and hungry, which, to be fair, was the truth. mina stood up, unwrapping the sandwich and bringing it closer to her face for inspection, allowing eyes to take in sight of layered toppings and nose to take in scent of food - it didn't smell appealing. she'd look like an asshole if she threw it out or tossed it aside. she does what she does best, performs, and takes a huge bite. it barely goes down without a near gag. it tastes like wet drywall.
mina walked until she found the restaurant, heading inside and patiently waiting until spotting a man [ @burnedown ] behind the counter. mina held the sandwich up, looking at him. " tastes awful. " the words came like a stated fact, she stood there, expression blank.
appraisals were always part of being in the kitchen, inevitable like faded burns and fresh cuts and the ache of exhaustion. sharp words inked into press by critics, plates returned by dissatisfied customers. ( and he had tried learning how to steel himself against the onslaught, to thicken skin into armour ). yet blows too often still hit their mark, finding the cracks in eroded defences, lodging like shrapnel between his ribs. caught off guard by blunt feedback offered by the stranger. a moment where the air gets trapped in his lungs, suffocating, as echoes whisper : you are talentless, you are terrible at this, you are no good.
but then oxygen breaks through, flooding into his chest. the room swimming back into focus, and with it an unyielding hazel gaze. “ right — sorry. ” his own expression pinching into a frown even as he tempers voice into something politely apologetic, forces himself to focus despite the background chaos emanating from the kitchen. “ was there something, like, specific that was awful or. . . ”