#btrtv

Theory One: Being a very bad boy had very significant consequences

This is one I've mentioned at least twice before. The existence of Kendall Knight in his BTAudition form can be roughly traced back to Big Time Bad Boy. This is because having the Bad Boy Off with WayneWayne was just too much for his system to handle.

Kendall's bad boy traits needed to come out organically. His back-talk, sass, and defiance were all things that had to happen on his terms, through the natural course of his days. Blatantly not caring about anything Gustavo said and constantly thinking up schemes took effort, and Kendall needed to pace himself.

Being forced to the level of bad behavior that was required in order to save his place in the band meant Kendall had to channel that badness and unleash it on command. Smashing some records and body-checking a guy into a wall is one thing, but he had to COMPLETELY destroy Gustavo's office with a sledgehammer. He had to go to the bathroom in a drawer. These are all very unnatural things to do, and they threw Kendall's entire brain out of whack. The whole ordeal took a big chunk out of his edge, and he never quite recovered. When all was said and done, we were left with an altered version of Kendall.

Theory Two: Love turned Kendall's brain to mush

Let's disregard theory one, shall we? Let's say that the Bad Boy Extravaganza didn't have any negative impact on Kendall at all. He still started to change personality-wise after this episode. Hmm...what episode immediately followed Big Time Bad Boy? Why, it was Big Time Love Song! With this episode came the introduction of Jo, Kendall's main love interest through the series.

Kendall goes goofy around Jo from the start. He gets hearts in his eyes and wants only to win her affections. It takes a few episodes to do it, but it eventually happens. And while they're very cute together, it could be said that meeting Jo and falling in love was the catalyst that started his noticeable personality change. Whenever Jo was around, Kendall pretty much swung between Very Silly Guy and Guy Drowning in Paranoia.

Could it be then that being in a relationship killed Audition Kendall? Is love the antidote for being a bad boy? Perhaps!!

Theory Three: Schemers don't wear cardigans

Kendall wears a lot of plaid throughout the series. You know what else he wears with increasing frequency as we move through season 1 and onto season 2? Cardigans.

I can't see Audition Kendall wearing one. In fact, I don't even think it's possible for a person to jump up onto a table in a fit of rage while wearing a cardigan.

People who wear cardigans are gentle. I picture Mr. Rogers when I think about cardigans. Or a nerd sitting by a fireplace with a good book. Or Logan, who happens to ALSO have cardigans as a clothing staple.

I don't believe this is a coincidence. Stay with me here: remember in Big Time Guru when Logan started dressing cooler, and it not only majorly upped his swag levels but also nearly killed James in the process? Well, James was clearly experiencing some psychosomatic symptoms because he loves being dramatic, but I DO think the way one dresses can impact personality and confidence levels (maybe to a heightened degree in the crazy BTR universe).

So, here's what happened. Somewhere early in season 1, Kendall was gifted a cardigan, maybe by Logan himself. He discovered he liked cardigans, except integrating them into his wardrobe had the added side effect of altering his personality. That troubled, argumentative side of him got toned down, like when Lilo put that lei on Stitch to stop him from destroying her room.

Theory Four: Kendall didn't escape Hollywood Fever after all

I feel like I may have briefly mentioned this in a past post, but I couldn't find it. You know how Kendall supposedly escaped Hollywood Fever because he didn't lose touch with his roots? Well, what if that wasn't actually the case? What if Kendall did develop the fever, but a mild enough case that nobody noticed? What if his connection to hockey kept it from turning into the full-blown cases his friends had, but wasn't enough to stave it off entirely?

I propose this: A mere handful of episodes into the series, Kendall developed a chronic case of Hollywood Fever that would not only last through the series, but intensify. It is the reason for his increasingly neurotic behavior, his exaggerated reactions to things, and at the core of his transformation.

Theory Five (the only semi-serious one): Audition Kendall was a persona molded from necessity

Let's look at Kendall Knight's pre-L.A. life. Namely, let's look at his family situation and factor in the most widely-accepted headcanon regarding it (one Challen Cates essentially verified): Kendall's father cheated on Jennifer and then walked out on the family either shortly before or after Katie was born. He then had zero contact with them and essentially vanished from their lives.

For someone like Kendall, who I believe had those leader/protector qualities in him from the start, this fracturing of his family forced him into roles before he was really ready. He had to become the Man of the House and protector of his mom and little sister. He felt he needed to be the one trying to hold things together, even though the biggest concern he should have had at such a young age was learning to tie his shoes.

It's not far fetched to say that this stress and pressure pushed Kendall into a pattern of being the protector and fixer for everything in his life. Guy taking care of his family, guy taking care of his friends. Guy controlling every situation in an effort to keep things from falling apart. With this added pressure came angst, leading to the version of Kendall we see in Audition through the first few episodes of the series: fiery, impulsive, manipulative, and defiant. His personality was a protective shell—formed out of necessity in a world that felt unstable and untrustworthy.

It remained in place as he got situated in L.A., but as things settled, the sense of security that came with the lifestyle and finding success in the music industry allowed him to finally drop his guard. The "anger management issues" side of him melted away, BUT it also meant the floodgates opened and released all the pent-up anxiety that was underneath the anger the whole time.

This, friends, is why Kendall starts out as a guy who jumps onto a table and rage-sings, talks back at everything said to him, and lives for trouble, and ends up as a flailing, anxious, ridiculously silly guy. He's finally in a situation where he can truly let loose and be himself but is also wading through years of suppressing that more anxious/overwhelmed side of himself.

BTAudition will take up the bulk of this post, then other key moments and episodes will be chunked into smaller sections as we follow Kendall along the path of destruction from supposed bad boy to full-fledged goofball.

BIG TIME AUDITION

• Pilot episode, my beloved. Gold standard for establishing characters and dynamics right off the bat. We are sixteen seconds in when we're introduced to Kendall Knight, and we know who this boy is straight away.

Look at him. He's got the plaid peeking from the jacket. Beanie. Phenomenal eyebrows.

His first words are, "Opportunities like this come once in a lifetime, and when they do, you gotta grab it, and turn that thing big time."

Huh? Weird thing to say. What's he talking about? CAUSING TROUBLE. He wants his buddies to help him turn on the sprinklers and soak the girls field hockey team. Just. Just because! Because the opportunity is there, and this guy believes that if the option comes up to do something, you should do that thing.

Kendall Knight popped onto televisions that evening in 2009 and went, "Hi, I like to cause problems." Fantastic.

• A short while later, James is being annoying, singing and dancing on the couch. Kendall takes care of it by simply saying Carlos's name, which is apparently the signal for "Make him stop, and use physical violence to do it." Carlos tackles James, and they brawl behind the couch. Kendall smiles. Why? Because he has that type of command over people. Because he's in charge and he knows it.

• But don't be fooled by him having Carlos attack James! Because the moment someone dares to insult James, we get what is perhaps one of the greatest scenes in the entire history of television. Ever. It's true; ask anyone.

I mean. This is a very quick escalation. This is unhinged behavior.

This boy not only insults Gustavo's relevance, but decides in the moment to further express his fiery anger by yell-singing (complete with choreography!) on the table. He makes Gustavo fall backward. He kicks food and drinks on him. He has to be dragged away and then proceeds to fight the security guards.

Yeah, Gustavo is rude and unnecessarily harsh to James, but Kendall responds by literally committing assault. At eleven minutes into the episode, the audience is clearly being shown the type of guy Kendall is. Which is a guy who belongs in a juvenile detention center, perhaps.

• As we move our way through the episode, Kendall is just so unbothered a lot of the time. He just does not care. Doesn't care about this washed-up producer who thinks he has talent. Doesn't care about the offer to go to L.A. Doesn't care about the potential fame or money.

• And then we get to L.A., and oh, Kendall wants to be as disruptive and non-compliant as possible. He does not care about silly songs with "girl" in the title, and he does not want to take any of it seriously, and he'd much prefer to talk back and hit his friend in the head with the microphone and give smug smirks to people, thank you very much. He truly just wants to cause trouble and problems and stress for others. It's fun for him. Enrichment for Kendall Knight.

BTAudition Kendall has oppositional defiant disorder. He wants to hear directions being given and then follow none of them. He wants to strangle Gustavo Rocque with his bare hands.

The way Kendall is presented in Audition is truly as someone who has two modes primarily: 1. cool, calm, and collected & 2. angry

Yeah, we get some glimpses of him letting loose and being silly with the other guys, but you don't get the sense that it's his default. His default, as established through this entire pilot episode, is the stoic, confident leader with a hair trigger for anger. If all you have to go by is this single episode, you're left with a character who holds his friend group together with tight, calm control, who acts out because he does not like being told what to do, and is used to getting out of situations through manipulation and charisma.

He is, quite obviously, being established as the "bad boy" of this group. Not truly bad, no. More of the troubled type with a heart of gold who will commit crimes to protect the people he loves. But a show about a boy band needs a boy with an edge, and Kendall Knight is it. This guy is not rattled.

Take a good, long look at the above screenshots and kiss that version of Kendall goodbye, because he's about to begin his tragic transformation.

Big Time School of Rocque

• Kendall Knight: Schemer extraordinaire. The man with a plan. The guys get thrown into Gustavo's twisted version of school, and they immediately want out. Who better to take the reins and lead the way than our designated troublemaker?

He comes up with ideas on the fly to get rid of the many teachers who make their way through the School of Rocque. Convinces Mr. Smitty to go follow his dream of pursuing music, utilizes the corn chowder his mom packs to convince a WWE wrestler that he and his friends are a bunch of vomit-eating freaks, and gives away Gustavo's car to get an elderly teacher to leave. He GIVES AWAY a car that is not his!!

• This is very much still Audition Kendall. He's playing games of mental chess with everybody. He may have agreed to give the whole boyband thing a try, but he's going to control every situation Gustavo puts them in as much as possible. In his mind, he's in a constant battle with Gustavo, and he is going to win.

Especially fascinating to watch the way he carries himself in general. There's like...a stillness to him for the most part? Sort of neutral expressions in a lot of scenes. Nowhere near the cartoony physicality Kendall (and all the boys) will develop as the series goes on.

Big Time Crib

• Still Audition Kendall here! Some quality scheming goes on in this episode, and it's all orchestrated by Kendall, who, at this point, is still consistently waking up in the mornings with the main goal of being a menace. 2J is a dump, and he's going to trick and manipulate as many people as necessary to ensure their apartment is de-dumpified. And he's going to do it with the confidence of someone who has never not gotten their way. Because this Kendall always gets his way.

He ropes Camille into posing as someone who works for Griffin. He appoints Logan as their Griffin impersonator. He delegates different parts of their plan to each of the other guys and also recruits The Jennifers when needed. He delivers this gem of a line when Logan starts questioning their plan.

• Overall, still a confident, collected Kendall who wants to get things his way and will do whatever necessary (within reason) to achieve it. He's the ringleader, and his buddies are his monkeys who do what he says.

• Also, this is going to sound weird, but I think there's even a difference in his voice in these earlier episodes. Early-series Kendall has a deeper voice than later-series Kendall. I've noticed it enough times now over the years that I'm convinced I'm not just making it up. I don't know if it's just that Kendall (Schmidt) was delivering the lines more calmly pre-cartoonified BTR or if he was purposely lowering the register of his voice, but I recall even watching interviews of him and the guys from this period and thinking "Huh. His natural speaking voice is a little higher than the way he sounds on the show."

BIG TIME BAD BOY

• This is it, friends. This is where Audition Kendall dies. I've mentioned it before, but I'm convinced that the effort required to be so incredibly bad in the span of such a short time obliterated whatever part of Kendall's brain handled delinquency and sanded away his edge. He had a finite amount of "bad" in his tank that was supposed to carry him through the rest of his life, and his battle with WayneWayne busted a hole in it and drained it. Tragic.

I don't think I need to go into too much depth of the events of this episode because this is a fan favorite, and everyone knows how it goes. We all love Bad Boy Kendall.

None of the other guys could have pulled this off convincingly. Know why? Because these are all things well within the capabilities of Audition Kendall. He really didn't have to dig very deep to unleash this side of himself. A boy who will jump up onto a table and sing an impromptu "Giant Turd" song while kicking things off of said table and into the face of a man who's a total stranger would 100% smash and destroy that man's office if given the chance. This is Audition Kendall's dream coming true

• And it's absurd to me that BTAuditon did so well at establishing this hot-headed, impulsive, defiant main character, then had an episode where Kendall is OFFICIALLY made the "Bad Boy" of their band, and then failed to carry it through to the rest of the series.

BIG TIME MANSION, PARTY, & JOBS

• These episodes are what I consider to be the first real glimpses into anxious, neurotic Kendall. We go from a Kendall who stares down challenges with confidence and charm to one who reacts with panic.

Prior to these episodes, we've seen Kendall do a whole lot of on-the-fly scheming. He threw himself headfirst into things and handled every hurdle that came his way with an attitude that bordered on indifference. Remember how I said he couldn't be rattled?

He is very rattle-able now.

• And like, he's still taking charge of situations, particularly in Mansion and Party, but there's a noticeable level of overwhelm radiating from him. He's no longer carrying himself with that air of: nothing bad is gonna happen because I said so. Previous Kendall would bend situations by sheer force of will and make things up as he went along. This is the beginning of a Kendall who is desperately grasping for control that he can't seem to find. He just loses his cool so quickly. It's as if he no longer believes in his own ability to handle situations.

• He can still scheme. He ultimately finds a way to pull things together in the end, but it's not smooth. It's not done with that flashed smile like when he dangled Gustavo's car keys in front of their teacher and told her to get lost. It's done because he's being fueled by anxiety. THAT is what will be the primary driving force behind Kendall Knight from here on out. ✨Anxiety✨

Let's jump ahead to season 2, shall we? (If you've made it this far, I'm giving you a virtual high five)

WELCOME BACK BIG TIME

• Ahh, the boys have gone on their first little tour, BTR has been established as a band, and we're back for another season of fun.

Oh, and Kendall is going to have only three emotions now, btw: consumed by panic, jealous rage, or trapped in the depths of depression. We get all three in this episode!

• Best get used to seeing flailing, too, because that's going to be the primary way he moves his body from now on.

• No, but, for real. Watch Kendall in Big Time Audition, take in his demeanor, his body language, the way he speaks, and then watch this episode. Of course, this is due to the show becoming much more cartoony, plus the natural flanderization that happens to many characters, and you know what? I think Jo had a lot to do with this, too. Something happened to Kendall's brain when he fell in love. It rewired some stuff.

Anyway, he's a jealous, overreacting doofus in this episode.

BIG TIME SNEAKERS

• Kendall is once again being driven to the point of madness by the mere existence of Jett Stetson. I love Jett, but his introduction really did a number on Kendall's character. Of course, Jett isn't the cause of what's happening to Kendall, but he sure does exaggerate it.

And listen. I've said many times before that I absolutely love Kendall Knight at every point in the series. He is a wonderful character. But they gave us such an interesting, dynamic version of him in those early episodes and then yoinked him away and flung him to outer space. Audition Kendall does not exist anymore in his pilot episode form.

• This episode includes a scene where Jett is insulting Kendall (as per usual), and Kendall responds like this

Now, let's say we pluck Audition Kendall straight from that episode and drop him into this scene. You think that guy is gonna ask for permission to hit someone? (okay, maybe, out of respect for his gf and not wanting to cause problems for her) But also! Maybe not. Maybe Audition Kendall is flinging himself over the desk and tackling Jett to the ground. Maybe he's gonna walk over and stand nose to nose with Jett like he did with Gustavo, and just stare daggers straight into Jett's brain. Maybe he leaves the building calmly and orchestrates a master plan to get Jett written out of "New Town High" and put into another show.

THAT is the stuff Audition Kendall would do. He would be cool and calculated about everything, not giving himself jealousy-induced aneurysms and sabotaging Jett and Jo's scenes with all the tact of a five-year-old (as seen in Welcome Back Big Time).

BIG TIME GURU

• I LOVE this episode. Could part of the reason be that there are fleeting glimpses of the person Kendall used to be?

According to Gustavo, Kendall is still regularly talking back, so there must still be wisps of Audition Kendall in there somewhere.

• After sassing Gustavo (causing steam to shoot from his ears), the guys run to 2J, where Buddha Bob saves them from being hacked to pieces by their knife-wielding boss. Kendall has a moment of reflection after, where he admits he does tend to talk back and decides perhaps he should start being less difficult.

You know what would make this little scene great? If it actually reflected the way Kendall has been acting whenever we've seen him with Gustavo. Like, this could be a fantastic piece of natural character growth if he had retained his Audition personality! Imagine if he was still defiant and butting heads with Gustavo at every turn. That "I should apologize and listen" moment could have been a nice realization for him. And it wouldn't have even had to stick since Gustavo ends the episode by telling them that he doesn't want them to change.

• Anywho, this episode presents us with a much steadier version of Kendall than we've seen in a long while. It's almost like the writers were reminded of the character who originally existed and went, "Oh, right. Maybe we should, like, refer to that? A little bit?" So they gave us one episode of Kendall who is level-headed and anchored and confident, and then all the writers got amnesia again of the entire first part of the series.

BIG TIME BEACH PARTY

• The majority of Kendall's plot here revolves around his relationship with Jo nearly being destroyed because he doesn't have enough of a backbone to tell a girl to leave him alone.

I'll give him some grace on account of Sandy being a wackadoo who doesn't want to take no for an answer, but he really is so skittish and unwilling to put his foot down. He just sort of nervously flails around the beach with her until he's ultimately forced into a drag race.

Do I think Audition Kendall would never find himself in this position to begin with? Yes. If he did find himself in this situation, do I think he would have resolved it swiftly and then gone on to enjoy the rest of his beach day? Yes. Is it possible that Kendall just gets nervous around girls and would be reduced to a head under a bucket even in his Audition form? Also yes.

It just seems to me that he's at his worst characterization-wise when Jo or any other girl is involved. He loses all sense of self.

OK, LET'S WRAP THIS UP

The remainder of the season pretty much keeps in line with where Kendall is in terms of characterization. He's wonderful. He's a big, lovable goofball. He's just not the guy we met in Big Time Audition anymore.

Audition Kendall took a stressful situation and made it everyone else's problem. He managed to turn a pop song into an act of violence. He had fame and fortune dangled in front of his face and scoffed at it. He was composed under pressure.

Current Kendall doesn't death-stare anybody down. He spends a surprising amount of time flinching. He spirals easily and is motivated by anxiety, not angst. End of season 2 Kendall would pass out at the things Bad Boy Kendall was able to do.

That is someone physically incapable of peeing into Gustavo's desk drawer.

I like softer Kendall—I really do—but it was such a shame that we started the series with a blueprint that wasn't followed past a handful of episodes. It would have been so interesting to follow Audition Kendall through the series. (That's a fun AU to think about!)

I've seen a lot of fans say they wish the show would have been made for TeenNick instead so that it could have been aimed at an older audience and given them more room to add some serious elements. That would have been nice, but I don't know if it ultimately would have worked for what they needed the show to do (that is, appeal to a wide audience, a significant portion of which were young kids). Still, imagine a world where Big Time Rush was more of a typical teen show, where Audition Kendall could have been given room to thrive, and maybe even turned up a few notches! I guess that's what fanfic is for. (I personally write my BTR fanfics with Audition Kendall in mind)

For what it's worth, Kendall Schmidt is so stinkin' endearing that they could have done ANYTHING with his character, and it would have worked. It did work. And honestly? I feel like the version of Kendall we get later in season 1 and through the rest of the series is closer to Kendall Schmidt's personality/demeanor. Those of you who keep up with my posts may recall a few instances of my mentioning of "dainty Kendall". Cannot stress enough that this is not a dig, but merely an observation of Kendall Schmidt's natural way of carrying himself. His body language and many of his mannerisms are very delicate. Very loose and sort of soft? These were the gifs I had made to try to convey what I was talking about.

It's mainly in the wrists, I've concluded, but it carries over into the way he moves in general. Like, that above? That's all Kendall Schmidt.

As I mentioned, Audition through first few episodes Kendall has a stillness/control to his movements that later series Kendall doesn't. Yes, partly due to them cranking up the cartoon dial, but I also genuinely think Kendall (Schmidt) was comfortable in the role and sort of just being himself.