Used to be neurodivergent-nutcase and disabled-degenerate.
RULES
Be nice. Read people’s DNI banners. Do not care what you think of any them, just try be nice.
People with personality disorders are supported here. People with delusions are supported here. People who've deal with severe dissociation are supported here. People who have been told their illness is scary/bad/etc are supported here.
Please no NSFW unless properly tagged educational posts.
If you have any questions, message me or leave an ask.
ABOUT
This is my disability side blog. Asks are posted the moment I answer them. Mean things will be ignored.
I am 22. Singular he or plural they. Mentally and physically disabled. Part-time AAC user. Language abilities fluctuate greatly, please be kind.
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so many articles online 'here is how become support worker,' 'here is how bathe disabled/elderly person,' 'here is what NDIA says you need before you qualify for personal care.'
None on 'so you became disabled in your twenties and it has progressed to the point you need support with personal care to cope with the fatigue and you're nonverbal and autistic. How do you navigate this new dynamic with strangers and communicate important things like wants and consent? And how do you not feel ashamed or embarrassed because you 'don't really need it'?'
(would genuinely like advice or hear other people's experiences if comfortable sharing. can be on anon if want or ask for Radio not to publish ask)
As someone who has had multiple carers over 20 years and more or less verbal abilities, I gradually labelled everything and made lists.
Essentially turning my life into a routine similar to what it would be like to be in an institution but on my terms.
Detailed menus for food (how I want it cooked, salted), grocery list (which meant cutting down and simplifying how I eat and eating repetitive food with emergency meal options).
List of chores and their days: a day to pick up the groceries and put them away, a day she cleans the bedroom, a day she does the floors. once a month collect medicines... All suited to give them lots of time and account for unexpected needs.
Instructions sharpied on the washing machine, labels written on the cupboards and taped above the microwave
My clothes are basic: all machine wash and no iron, can be mixed and matched, my bedsheets can be mixed and matched
I do meds once a week and have a proper weekly pillbox with a list taped to it. I hated accepting this signifier of illness.
My bath days are on days she's not here which is a recent luxury because I used to need help there.
Boundaries
My bedroom is off limits unless it's bedroom day. Weight and romantic life are off limits.
I have not found a way to communicate that I'm not a psychologist in 20 years of this. Carers are often in the process of being broken by the job: they vent (a lot), they get burn out, they find it easier (and make more money) to do any other job.
It hurts the ego every single time you meet a new one and initiate them to your routines. Those stupid house management binders like seen in mormon influencer households actually do streamline your life even if they feel dehumanizing.
A lot of this stuff was really hard. I felt like if a baby could feel shame. My brain screams the R word at me every now and then for not being able to safely cook or lift things, for not being able to explain myself then sitting through agony rather than seem impolite.
The urge to do the chores yourself is massive even after a hundred energy hangovers and injuries. Write those down because you think you don't need it until you notice you haven't taken care of yourself in weeks trying to keep up with other things or you repeatedly get ill.
What did help was treating the carer's job as dignified: them cleaning for me is not degrading, it's their job. Them witnessing me in distress is not degrading, it's their job and they rise to the occasion and feel proud they got to help someone.
Try and remember that you're providing a respectful, safe work environment for people who would otherwise be unseen or mistreated when working in cleaning/catering or in care homes. Holiday gifts and setting up options for their holidays in advance help. Checking in about balancing their work load over the hours they're given is an important use of your limited social time/energy so it feels more like teamwork to them.
It will feel very weird at first but if you're upfront about communication difficulties and needing time to write things out for example, that can help. The big hurdle in time will be getting enough hours allocated (unless you pay for extra under the table) and not losing carers to their agencies being gigantic soul-sucking body-breaking machines.
(this post is more about things you can do to feel more control over your situation and facilitate your carer's work. I can't help much with how to feel about this nor how much polite smalltalk or guidance you can manage. It won't fall into place nor make sense overnight. Grieving a stage of life or loss of abilities can take upto 10 years, adapting happens sooner than mentally adjusting. )
03/08/2026
Doctor Beverly Crusher
@SpaceDocMom
Incoming Transmission…
Surviving day-to-day with chronic illness and/or disability is never "laziness" regardless of how many health-privileged, abled people assume otherwise. emojis: black heart, blue heart, masked, spoon
[ID: Two gifs of a pale orange, heart-shaped cake being broken in half to reveal the soft, pink inside. The gifs are followed by a banner with two photos of salmon nigiri and text reading, “Don’t interact if kink/nsfw, CGL/ddlg, MAP, terf, truscum. Thanks!” End ID.]
Want to say happy disability pride month to all of my homies with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome/FASD and/or affected by Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome/NAS/NOWS. I love you very much
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Being visibly disabled in the current community is a fascinating experience. Somehow you get to be the most visible part of the community and yet simultaneously completely invisible. People will tell you you're seen as the default and yet even spaces that call themselves "accessible" seemingly forget entirely that wheeled mobility aid users might need to use them too, or treat you as an afterthought. Disability related gatherings will be absolutely shocked if you turn up with a bulky mobility aid like a power chair or have a particularly noticeable visible difference, as if they never thought that people like you actually existed in the real world and might share a space with them. Disability related merch will be plastered in invisible disability slogans but people will look at you like you're from outer space if you ask if they have anything about disabilities that aren't invisible. They tell you about how they saw someone with a disability vaguely similar to yours on TV once, so you don't need more awareness.
All the while abled people just continue to act like you don't exist unless you can be "inspirational", or you're inconvenient to them, or you look so different that they think they can get away with treating you like an animal.
anyway this July shout-out to disabled kids who are fighting battles you can't even imagine against their local school to try to get the time off/accomodations they need. it will shock you how many teachers are ableist to kids. You should be compensated a billion dollars for every time someone implies you're too "young and spry" to need this
the “sexy lamp test” but for disabled folks: if you can replace your disabled character with a beloved pet dog that needs an expensive surgery to survive then you have to throw out your manuscript
[ID from alt: A painting of a family in their living room. the adult family members are sitting on the couch; their faces are blurred and grotesque. A girl is laying on the floor in front of them with her tongue out like a panting dog. End ID]
hate how I will have a very simple thing (tagging flashing lights is a bare minimum of accessibility) and people crawl outta the fuckin woodworks to tell me how stupid that is like bro
[Image ID: Two Tumblr hashtags which read "like hey guys. people can die from that." and "it isnt stupid people can fucking DIE if you dont tag for it". /End ID]
Tags: please remember epileptics like me. Seizures can kill people at any point and not just from injuries they cause. Literally it’s called sudden unexpected death by epilepsy.
additional tag: disability awareness
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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April 1st: What age did you find out you were autistic? If you have a diagnosis, what was the diagnosis process like, if you can remember it?
Found out in high school. Had suspected in middle school but didn't say anything until diagnosed friends sat me down and told me to take care of myself and my sensory needs. My official diagnosis was right after my senior year and I got a re-assessment that I remember around 20 to see about college accommodations. I ended up never going to college anyways but I remember the little block puzzles and stuff that they had me do
if you're disabled and/or chronically ill, i cannot stress enough how much you deserve friendship.
if your conditions make it hard for you to follow through with plans, you deserve friendship anyways.
if you use equipment like mobility aids, aac, ventilators and oxygen, feeding tubes, insulin pumps, etc, you deserve friendship anyways.
if your conditions make you have to cancel last minute a lot, you deserve friendship anyways. if your conditions make you have to leave early a lot, you deserve friendship anyways.
if you're housebound/bedbound, you deserve friendship anyways.
if you need caregiver support to hang out with friends, you deserve friendship anyways AND you deserve the caregiver support you need to enjoy time with them.
if you have a service dog, you deserve friendship anyways.
if your conditions cause "scary" medical episodes like seizures, fainting, meltdowns and shutdowns, etc, you deserve friendship anyways.
if you're disabled and/or chronically ill, i cannot stress enough how much you deserve friendship.
Rules: There are 30 questions corresponding to each day in April. Answer each question in your own separate post. You can answer all or just as many of them as you want. Make sure you tag your responses #30daysofautismacceptance and you can put them in the various autism tags too (#actually autistic, #autistic, #autism etc). Please help spread this around before the start of April! And with that, I hope everyone enjoys the questions and has fun with this year's autism month prompts. (Prompts under the read more button)
April 2nd: Are there some things in life that you either learned much later than your neurotypical peers or not at all?
April 1st: What age did you find out you were autistic? If you have a diagnosis, what was the diagnosis process like, if you can remember it?
April 3rd: Do you feel like being autistic makes you easier to take advantage of? More gullible perhaps? Talk about a time where this happened to you.
April 4th: Talk about online social interaction. Do you feel that being able to interact with others online, such as on social media, has been a positive or negative thing for you? Do you think its easier, harder, about the same as in person communication?
April 5th: Do you often interact with other autistic people? Online or in person? Do you find it harder, easier, about the same difficulty as with neurotypical people?
April 6th: Do you feel that autism affects the way that you view/interact with media? In what ways? Talk about it.
April 7th: Talk about autistic characters in media. What are your favorite canon autistic characters? Are there any characters that you view as autistic, that aren't officially so? What about them makes you think they are autistic? How do you relate to them? What would you like to see in autistic characters in the future?
April 8th: Do you think, since the time you found out you were autistic, that society's views on autism has gotten worse, better, or about the same? In what ways?
April 9th: Are you ever prevented from doing things because of sensory issues? For example, clothes you'd want to wear, places you'd like to go, etc. How does it make you feel? Talk about it.
April 10th: Are holidays/birthdays/similar social gatherings something that you find difficult in any way as an autistic person? Talk about it.
April 11th: Do you find doctor's/dentist's/etc appointments difficult as an autistic person? Why? Do you have trouble booking appointments or managing insurance? Do you have someone that helps with this? Do you have someone come to appointments to help advocate for you?
April 12th: Do you struggle with a sense of loneliness/social isolation? Has it become better, worse or about the same since you were younger? Is there anything that helps with it?
April 13th: Have you ever had to (or wanted to) correct someone's misconception about autism? What happened? Talk about it.
April 14th: Do you have issues with change? From small changes like a disruption to your daily routine, to big changes like a new boss at work for example. How does it affect you? Is there anything that helps with it?
April 15th: Talk about special interests. What is your current special interest? What do you like about it? Do you dislike anything about having special interests? Talk about past special interests.
April 16th: What are some accommodations that you would either like to have or already have to help you in your everyday life as an autistic person? If you could change an aspect of society to make things easier for you as an autistic person, what would you change?
April 17th: How do you feel about various autism organizations, such as ASAN, Autistic Women's and Nonbinary Network, Autism Speaks, etc
April 18th: Have you had trouble, now or in the past, with people not respecting your boundaries as an autistic person? For instance, people not listening when you don't like hugs or being touched etc.
April 19th: Talk about speech. Are you nonverbal? Do you use AAC? What is it like if you are? If not, do you have trouble controlling the tone of your voice? Do people often misread you based on your tone (thinking you're angry when you're not for example)? Do you have trouble controlling the volume of your voice, especially when excited about something? Do you tend to speak in a monotone?
April 20th: Give a shoutout to some of your favorite fellow autistic people. Could be an actor, writer, youtuber, a family member, another tumblr blog, etc. What do you like about them and/or their content (assuming they're an actor/youtuber/etc)? Would you recommend other people follow them?
April 21st: Do you have trouble keeping up with personal hygiene? Bathing, brushing your teeth, flossing, etc? Is it because of sensory reasons? Is there anything you've found helps with this?
April 22nd: If you had to describe to someone who knows nothing about autism what it feels like/what its like to be autistic, what would you say?
April 23rd: Are you generally a talkative person or a quiet person? Do you feel like this is influenced by being autistic? Do you tend to infodump about things you are interested in? Do you feel like people don't listen to you?
April 24th: Do you have trouble interpreting other people's intentions? Is it hard for you to tell when someone is deliberately being mean to you? Do you have trouble picking up when someone is lying to you or trying to trick you? Talk about it.
April 25th: Do you feel like you got the support you needed growing up as an autistic person? From your parents/teachers/other adults? What did they do to support you? What do you feel you would have needed that you didn't get support wise? Do you feel like you have the support you need at the age you are now?
April 26th: Lets talk about food. Are there certain foods that you cannot eat due to sensory reasons? Do you tend to avoid spice? Do you eat a lot of the same foods over and over? Do you have a same food that you tend to eat often because its safe or familiar?
April 27th: (If the first question doesn't apply to you, you answer the second one. Or if you want you can answer both) Are you lgbtq+? Do you feel like there's any intersection between both identities? Alternatively, if you're not: have you experienced ableism before? What was the situation in which it occurred? What did you do? Have you ever had someone start treating you differently after they found out you were autistic?
April 28th: Do you prefer person first language (example: person with autism) or identity first language (autistic person)? Why?
April 29th: Let's talk about relationships, both platonic and romantic. How are your relationships with your family (parents/siblings/etc)? Are they generally supportive and understanding of you as an autistic person? If you have (non-autistic) siblings, do you feel as though you were treated differently from them growing up or even now? What about friends? Is making friends something you find hard or easy? How does being autistic affect your friendships? Are you now or have you ever been in a romantic relationship? Have your partners been understanding of your needs as an autistic person? In what ways does being autistic affect your relationship?
April 30th: Autistic pride. What does being autistic mean to you? Are you proud to be autistic? Why? What would you like your final message of autism acceptance month to be?
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
