bulleitpoints

Quentin:

Julia:

Eliot:

Margo:

Alice:

Kady:

Penny:

Josh:

Fen:

Dean Fogg:

Don’t expect perfection on your first draft. “You don’t know what you’re doing for a long time. It seems like a huge mess because it is a huge mess. If you looked at the notes from early on in the writing of this book, you’d think, “This person is crazy. This could never be a novel.” That’s how all my books have felt when I started writing them. Trying to explain them to people was like trying to explain a dream.” 

Read - a lot. “I read a lot while I’m writing. If I’m feeling dull or uninspired, I’ll often reach for a book of poetry:  often an anthology of British and American poets of the 20th century that I’ve had since high school and am superstitious about. At night, I like to read something completely different from what I’m working on, to get my mind off my work–Ivy Compton-Burnet is always bracing and fresh, and so is P.G. Wodehouse.”  Refine your technique.

“To be good at anything, whether dance or painting or Olympic diving, you have to be really, really attentive to detail. And you also have to be able to forget about technique in the heat of the moment – you have to know your technique so well that it’s second nature. But you never stop trying to refine it.” Stick to the routine that works for you - even if it makes you antisocial. “I try to avoid social engagements. It’s hard for me to socialize or see people while I’m working. I sleep irregular hours and eat irregular hours and don’t like to be interrupted to go have dinner with someone if my writing is going well. Sometimes even knowing that I have a dinner engagement in the evening will keep me from working well during the day. I DO have a number of exuberant email correspondents though–writing letters to people at the end of the day is often my way of winding down from a day of work.” 

Write at your own pace.

“There’s an expectation these days that novels—like any other consumer product—should be made on a production line, with one dropping from the conveyor belt every couple of years. But it’s for every writer to decide his own pace, and the pace varies with the writer and the work.”

Use your writing to escape from the real world.

“Staying with the same characters for so long is fun, it’s fun seeing how they evolve over time, being in the same world for a long time. Once I’m there I like to stay there. It’s an alternate life, it’s wonderful. Of course it’s escapist.”

Your conclusion is your “so what’s the fucking point” section. You’ve given you’re reader a lot of info and now they need to know why they care. Depending on the type of paper you should be giving a plan of action, explaining how this knowledge changes our understanding of the topic, link your paper to other disciplines, suggest further areas of study, etc.

Some shit went down. Here are the receipts.

Here is the tea.

The What

The “So What?”

And the “Now What?” 

So there’s a known thing in the study of human psychology/sociology/what-have-you where men are known to, on average, rely entirely on their female romantic partner for emotional support. Bonding with other men is done at a more superficial level involving fun group activities and conversations about general subjects but rarely involves actually leaning on other men or being really honest about emotional problems. Men use alcohol to be able to lower their inhibitions enough to expose themselves emotionally to other men, but if you can’t get emotional support unless you’re drunk, you have a problem.

So men need to have a woman in their lives to have anyone they can share their emotional needs and vulnerabilities with. However, since women are not socialized to fear sharing these things, women’s friendships with other women are heavily based on emotional support. If you can’t lean on her when you’re weak, she’s not your friend. To women, what friendship is is someone who listens to all your problems and keeps you company.

So this disconnect men are suffering from is that they think that only a person who is having sex with you will share their emotions and expect support. That’s what a romantic partner does. But women think that’s what a friend does. So women do it for their romantic partners and their friends and expect a male friend to do it for them the same as a female friend would. This fools the male friend into thinking there must be something romantic there when there is not.

This here is an example of patriarchy hurting everyone. Women have a much healthier approach to emotional support – they don’t die when widowed at nearly the rate that widowers die and they don’t suffer emotionally from divorce nearly as much even though they suffer much more financially, and this is because women don’t put all their emotional needs on one person. Women have a support network of other women. But men are trained to never share their emotions except with their wife or girlfriend, because that isn’t manly. So when she dies or leaves them, they have no one to turn to to help with the grief, causing higher rates of death, depression, alcoholism and general awfulness upon losing a romantic partner. 

So men suffer terribly from being trained in this way. But women suffer in that they can’t reach out to male friends for basic friendship. I am not sure any man can comprehend how heartbreaking it is to realize that a guy you thought was your friend was really just trying to get into your pants. Friendship is real. It’s emotional, it’s important to us. We lean on our friends. Knowing that your friend was secretly seething with resentment when you were opening up to him and sharing your problems because he felt like he shouldn’t have to do that kind of emotional work for anyone not having sex with him, and he felt used by you for that reason, is horrible. And the fact that men can’t share emotional needs with other men means that lots of men who can’t get a girlfriend end up turning into horrible misogynistic people who think the world owes them the love of a woman, like it’s a commodity… because no one will die without sex. Masturbation exists. But people will die or suffer deep emotional trauma from having no one they can lean on emotionally. And men who are suffering deep emotional trauma, and have been trained to channel their personal trauma into rage because they can’t share it, become mass shooters, or rapists, or simply horrible misogynists.

crystal clear tapwater

everyone eats dinner at 10pm

slav squat

edits alphabet ◦ ━━ Aphrodite

new ask game send me a 🌻 and ill just tell you whatever the fuck i want

sincerely just dedicating my life to the aesthetic was the best decision I’ve ever made in terms of living life. it’s so much fucking fun. like honestly I have so much fun doing even the simplest of shit, and it’s also encouraged a lot of surprisingly healthy habits because I want to look and feel my best for those aesthetic pictures or even when I’m just out and about in public. it’s made me a lot friendlier and a lot more social; it’s made me less afraid to make mistakes and more eager to try new things. it’s so refreshing to be able to honestly say I want to do something because I just like the idea of being the kind of person who does it, because somehow I missed the memo growing up that if I do something, I am the kind of person who does it, regardless of initial motivation. I don’t know why, but we’re taught growing up that there has to be some deep reason for doing everything we do, but… there doesn’t have to be. you can do something simply because you want to. because you like the look of it. because you want to say you’ve done it. you don’t need any Deep Reason for it.