I am laying in a sleeping bag on a foam mattress. My face is cold. The tent wall - with it's small attempt at a window - is close enough to touch. I can hear the outside with its night-critter-noises, the wind in the trees, the flowing of the river and the rustling I close my mind against - all as clearly as if I'm standing in it... I'm laying in it. The weight of the outside is pressing down on the tent.
When I was a kid I was desperately afraid of the dark - the panic-tightness in my chest, the strength of the dark edges around the weak lights. The unknown, the different sounds, the energy change, the unfamiliar shadows; it was hard to go out in the dark, fending off the dark embrace with only a flashlight. To this day I require the windows to be curtained at night. Now I'm purposely laying outside in this darkness.
I take a deep breath and look out the tiny window; the stars are so many, so bright, so twinkly out here. It's not so dark after all. The beauty is something I can't see in the daylight.