Mushed Room

character idea: medieval squire with hypermobility who's highly sought after as an armour tester

hey incredibly specific ask: does anyone have a reference photo of the bit of Emperor's New Groove where Yzma says "I'll turn him into a flea"? I think I might want to sew that flea as a plushie

Thank you!! That's the flea!

I did not expect y'all to like this flea this much, I would have made the effort to actually change out the bobbin and thread on my machine if I thought this many people would see it (oops lol) Does anyone want the pattern? The legs are a little finicky to turn right side out but it's a really simple pattern with just two pattern pieces

if a fat boy could be a princess it would be Hitch

i wanna get better at drawing braids and I like to imagine he did his hair himself

one of newton's lesser-known laws is that if you reload something that is buffering, it will start playing at the precise moment your finger completes the motion to refresh the tab

yooooooooo I was 100% prepared to fight the surgeon today about whether or not my top surgery needs fixing or not, but she agreed on sight that yeah that's bad. Also remarked that the scarring is weird and odds are that those can be fixed/removed as well since they're directly on top of the problem areas, which I hadn't even considered. So everything went way better than I had even thought to expect.

horned feminization, or hornfem for short

Human men occasionally enter horn festival, but it t is our duty to make sure none leave.

small town diner waitress voice: Omelas? Oh, oh no, easy mistake, you're in oh - MAY - las right now, with an A. Plenty' people get the name mixed up. Nope, no utopia here, just our small little town. *face gets really grim* We do still.. Okay well we do still have a kid that we... I mean it isn't working but- well- You know. It- It's fine. I'm sure it'll start working soon.

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

$55/$515!!

$65/$515!!

$115/$515!!

$150/$515!!