Bubble Bath and Colours

Unknown (via ohteenscanrelate)

I don’t mind in the least! Actually your question has incredibly advantageous timing, because in my Healer’s Art class tonight, we all had the chance to share why we wanted to become a doctor and when the first moment was that we knew we wanted to dedicate our lives to medicine. Unfortunately I waited too long and just as I was about to speak up and share my story (I was tearing up just thinking about telling it and of course was afraid I was going to start crying in front of these people and they’d think I was some overly emotional basketcase, which is silly b/c the entire point of the class is to share those parts of ourselves…sorry I am digressing), we ended the exercise and moved on to another related topic. I really regret not sharing it with my 30 or so classmates.

I wrote my TNQD origin story not too long after being accepted to medical school, and since then, I’ve realized that my reasons for becoming a physician stem much farther back than I’d ever thought (and they have also evolved and multiplied during my medical school journey). The initial “inkling” or instinct that led me to pursuing a career in medicine began when I was probably no more than six or seven years old. 

At the time I thought I wanted to be a veterinarian, partly because I was a very shy, sensitive kid and simply felt like I connected better with animals. Mostly I wanted to just love them and help them because from my rudimentary understanding of life at the time, they’d done nothing to deserve the suffering that was often inflicted upon them. 

My first few memories of noticing the impact my mother’s depression had on her were also from this time in my life. I remember being very confused and very concerned; almost any child would find seeing their mother cry sporadically and seemingly for no apparent reason very disconcerting. Obviously there was no way an eight-year-old could comprehend depression or truly even imagine what my mother was going through, but I could do exactly two things. I could give her hugs. Big, giant, squeeze-until-it’s-hard-to-breathe bear hugs. And I could bring her tissues. 

As I grew older and learned more about what my mother was facing and heard her talk about her suicidal ideations, I began watching. I watched her like a hawk when I sensed she was in a “bad place.” I paid attention to her moods and tip-toed around them, afraid to upset her. I’d avoid certain conversation topics and would try to cheer her up. Of course that wasn’t a true solution, but it was all I could do. She began sleeping nearly all the time that she wasn’t at work. Sometimes she would come home extremely upset and would go straight to bed, and I’d peer in her door, heart-racing, to make sure her chest was still moving and that she hadn’t done anything stupid. I’d still give her bear hugs and bring her tissues from time to time. 

I don’t think that “care-taking” instinct and sense of responsibility–in regards to doing whatever was in my power to alleviate suffering–has ever left me since. It was certainly there for animals before, but I didn’t really like people. But I loved my mom. She wasn’t an ordinary person in my young eyes. Nor was my cousin, E, who I mentioned in my original origin story. She had a great deal of influence on my path as well. Plus people in general grew on me as I matured. Despite the situation with my mother being rather emotionally unhealthy for a child (and left a fair bit of carnage in my adult life that I’m still sorting out), I do believe that often the most painful and difficult experiences of our lives help us bring forth some of our most important and defining strengths of character. “Watching” my mother and attempting to console her as best I knew how kindled a burning desire in me to help. I need to “fix” people or at least ease their pain. It was an imperative. I couldn’t stand it otherwise. It hurt to watch her hurt. It hurt to watch other people hurt, especially when they harmed each other–which upon reflection, is probably why I wasn’t overly fond of humanity in the beginning.

Fastforward to high school (see origin story for the in-between and the mini-existential crisis), where teenage TNQD is a successful science nerd well on her way to becoming a microbiology/infectious diseases researcher. My Grinch-like feelings on people and the little confidence I had in my people skills had persuaded me to remain in my comfort zone and to do basic research so that I might one day find a new antibiotic or something of that nature. I thought I would fit in better there, and I felt like I could still use my passion for science to help people but just in a less direct manner. However after spending two years in a basic science lab, I was really burnt out. Research was captivating for my mind, but it lacked something that I needed in order to derive a sense of purpose and meaning from my work. Ironically enough, that missing ingredient, was people.

Cranial Nerves by number :)

Cristina Yang, Grey’s Anatomy, “What Have I Done to Deserve This?” (2x19)

Vitamins are the building blocks that keep our bodies running; they help build muscle and bone, capture energy, heal wounds and more. Today, TED-Ed wants to bring you your daily value and introduce you to the members of the team!

Vitamin A helps make white blood cells, shape bones, and improves vision. 

The B Vitamins are a complex bunch - some of them make up co-enzymes, who help enzymes release energy from food. Others help the body to use that energy.

From Vitamin C, we get the ability to fight infection and make collagen, a kind of tissue that forms bones and teeth, and heals wounds.

Vitamin D gathers calcium and phosphorous so we can make bones.

Vitamin E works as an antioxidant, getting rid of elements in the body that can damage cells.

Finally, Vitamin K helps us make the proteins that clot blood.

Without this Vitamin Variety, humans face deficiencies that cause a range of problems. On the other hand, too much of any vitamin can cause toxicity in the body. In reality, it’s all about getting the balance right, and hitting that vitamin jackpot! Thanks, Team Vitamin!

From the TED-Ed Lesson How do vitamins work? - Ginnie Trinh Nguyen

Catherine Woodiwiss, “A New Normal: Ten Things I’ve Learned About Trauma”   (via thepeacefulterrorist)

It is such a pleasure and a gift to read this right now, to remind myself that all of us who have suffered trauma of any form will and do live on.

Well do you?

And the winning kale is…

I tested a number of “annual” plants by over-wintering them without any protection. The hardiest will re-sow themselves or can be propagated from cuttings, which virtually eliminates the mad scramble to plant vegetable seedlings every spring.

I half-jokingly call this process “darwinist gardening,” but what I am doing is breeding landraces.

By far, the best kale selection in terms of enduring (and thriving) through the Danish winter is “Red Russian.” It was green for most of last year, but a few months in the cold have made the leaves sweeter and purple-hued!

A close runner up is a dwarf curly kale, which also made it through the elements in decent condition.