oops...excuse me...

Recorded these over the last couple of days. We had some pretty serious snowfall where I live so my plans of gassing out a movie theater (or holding until bursting 🥵) had to be postponed...

So instead I decided to eat trigger foods for every meal and share the results. I had a huge omelet with a lot of sausage and sweet potatoes on the side for breakfast yesterday, followed by a very nontraditional lunch of Blue Bunny ice cream (not sure what it is about that brand but it always blows me up) and a bunch of fiber gummies (which I've been snacking on throughout😊) . For dinner I had ground beef with more sweet potatoes and cottage cheese alongside some hummus. This morning I had a batch of overnight oats I made with chia seeds mixed in for good measure. That was more than enough to make my intestines feel like a balloon animal all day today 😁

Really wish I had someone to share all of this with. If you were there I'd bashfully hold these in until you could hear my stomach groan from all the way across the room. You could pester me a little because you know what I've been eating and how good it will feel to let all of these bubbly farts explode out of me. If I was still shy, maybe you'd snatch up some of my fiber gummies and wolf them down while barely chewing. Then a few hours later, we could just lay in bed together, massaging each other's bare and bloated guts and hotboxing the room with enough noxious gas to keep us warm through the winter🥵😍😘

Sure, as long as it doesn't make me look like a fat slob!

Them waking up and stretching with a soft moan, a wave of built-up gas trumpeting out of them in a bassy, explosive fart - followed by an equally nasty, rumbling belch that rolls out mid-yawn.

what really gets me off is uncontrollable burps — the kind that you can tell are erupting from a full, taut, gurgling gut pushed to its limits. those are the hollow, bubbly belches that you can tell are forced out only by those poor, overstretched tummy muscles, desperate to reduce the growing pressure inside.