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the lonesome boner seems to shoot a load at night

im not reblogging this shit man.

you literally just did dumbass

tumblr nepotism is when a mutual with a larger follower count than yours makes a post of yours gain notes by reblogging it

hey remember ‘i love you alive girl’??? we should have guillotined jeffrey bezo over that alone

I've only seen the expressions that pass on Jimmy Fallon's face in survivors of terrorist attacks and plane crashes. It's probably the only genuine emotion he's ever displayed on camera in his entire life. This is the closest we're ever going to get to someone casting Soul Trap in real life

never ask a woman her age a man his salary a brilliant film director what petitions he signed in 2009 etc

dreamed i had sex with someone and they rolled over and logged the experience on letterboxd