freak weirdo

any pronouns

this is my sideblog that I use esp to post about the more taboo things, right now mostly supernatural and the outsiders, but we'll see what other fandoms pop up

howdy y'all, I recently started reading the comics and particularly while reading supernatural: rising son I was like... wow holy shit I feel like I don't see enough talk about this. but then I realized. you have to buy them or go actively looking for a DC comics subscription/free trial.

so. here we are. I'm archiving some of them, and if they get taken down off archive.org, I'll still have a pdf to put somewhere else. I figured I'd make a masterlist of spn comics + resources I have!

supernatural: origins

coming soon!

supernatural: rising son

gifs from every episode of supernatural: 1/327

so my disclaimer is im watching son for the first time, so I don't know how they reconcile dean and sam's relationship with cas being anything other than "you are here and I didn't ask nor want you to be" comma.

I don't really...understand after watching cas force dean to torture alastair how people ship destiel in like.. a healthy form. if its toxic and weird and unhealthy thats a different thing, but I can't see a world where dean reconciles with cas enough about this to like.. love him in that way.

I know it's an event that triggers cas to consider disobedience, which is great /gen. and I think that can lead to a path where dean and sam can have him consistently in their lives willingly. I think that's a good option to get there truthfully. BUT I still think that scene was so haunting and horrific that dean can't ever forget that that happened. that cas wouldn't consider disobedience before it happened but after. and even then I'm almost done with season four and cas is still pretty obedient--just dipping his toe in the water

im just saying. dean "I don't beg people for things" winchester is one step away from getting on his hands and knees and BEGGING cas not to make him do this. we know how fucked up hell has made him. and you can see the way dean disassociates during that scene once he enters that room

AND. countering any "oh he wasn't even that mad when he woke up in the hospital" he was sedated. he was heavily sedated still. because when you're intubated, you're sedated, and he likely was still fighting off sedation if not being actively given meds for anxiety and pain once he was awake

but I think him being semi sedated/fighting off sedation still when he talks to cas after means something. because even through sedation fogginess, he says "yeah no thanks to you" and is kinda shitty to and fights cas. he only really talks to cas to get information, basically, and then tells him to kick rocks. he wants cas gone.

and don't even get me started on sam, man. im not saying sam gets a say in deans relationship, but in what world is sam all but yelling at cas for putting dean through this and to fix him, and then he's like oh yeah :/ I guess you should date the angel who made you revisit the most traumatic period of ur life less than a year after you get back. like it would be a MAJOR thing

again like... im mostly talking about the "and they live happily ever after" type destiel because.. no way that doesn't stick with dean..forever. even if cas changes (and im pretty sure he does from my tumblr knowledge fwiw) I still think that'll just always be on the back burner in his brain. how could it not? we see him struggling and coping with alcoholism specifically in response to his time in hell, and I think it clearly gets worse after the alastair incident

im not like trying to shit on destiel in a ">:( no it has to be wincest" way, its just one of those things that I haven't been able ro reconcile yet! I just don't know how dean would able to do that in a way other than stockholm syndrome.....which falls under one of those "oh this is clearly messed up" things! I just don't think dean is a forgiving enough person for anyone except sam and MAYBE John in the early seasons.

mary & dean both make a deal with a demon to bring back their loved one (partner) (person they love most in the world)

john & sam both get obsessive about hunting & the paranormal after their loved one dies (partner) (person they love most in the world)

going off of this ^ John and sam ALSO both have a ...... change in morals after their Person dies. they are willing to do very different thing post their Person's death than before. John was not going raise his kids as little soldiers before Mary's death, he was not going to put them in danger in that way. before dean goes to hell, sam is very... he wants a normal life, he doesn't want to be some freak. he only ever CONSIDERS honing in on his demon powers when he finds out from ruby that he might be able to use it to save dean.

like. seriously. at this point I don't have a LOT on John, but the John we see in s4ep3 is not the John we spent the first three seasons knowing. so I think sam is supposed to parallel John in this way

john & sam both get yanked into the world of the paranormal and hunting, the only difference is sam was raised in it and gets pulled back in where John wasn't.

john & sam are both on track to have a happy, normal life with a respectable background. john is a veteran with his wife and kids; sam on track for law school and to propose to his girlfriend, when something paranormal kills their wife/girlfriend

mary & dean are both The Hunter or their pairing. Mary was a hunter, born and raised until she left it to have her family. sam was raised in hunting, but left and WAS going to stay out of it until dean pulls him back in, and even then we spend the first season and a half or so hearing sam talk about going back to school. which makes dean The Hunter of them to me since he never left.

(and if u wanna take it further, John gets pulled into hunting after Mary dies and takes the boys with them, so they're all in it. but I digress)

sam & john both have a significant other who die in the same ways. I wouldn't say sam gets obsessive after jess dies the way he does when dean dies, BUT it is still a major motivation in him going hunting with dean