I tried. I did.

(M O N S T E R)

The word echoes in Sam’s head, and the hunter can’t control the rush of emotions. Guilt. Anger. Pain. 

“You’re not gonna hurt me, Sam. I’ll tie you down when it starts getting violent, we’ll both be safe. I’m not letting you go through this alone again.” The truth was, however, that Dean didn’t know if Sam would hurt him or not - the demon blood made him very powerful, and just like it’d thrown Sam around the room, Sam could throw him, among many other even more unpleasant scenarios. He didn’t care, however. He just wanted to help Sam, no matter how angry he was at him.

He sighed and nodded, desperately not wanting to go through it alone. He just wished that Dean wouldn't have to be he one to go through it with him.  "Thank you." He said quietly, adding a silent sorry as he sighed again and looked away from his brother. Dean didn't deserve this. Dean didn't deserve to carry a burden that Sam was making for him. I'm sorry.

(M O N S T E R)

The word echoes in Sam’s head, and the hunter can’t control the rush of emotions. Guilt. Anger. Pain. 

“Sam…” He started, his tone a little more hesitant than he would have liked. “You’re gonna be okay. I’ll stay with you this time, alright?” Just because he was mad at his brother it didn’t mean that he was going to just abandon him to his detox. The last time there’d been the Apocalypse to worry about. This time, he supposed there’d only be him and Sam in the middle of the only surviving structure of Bobby’s house.

He shook his head, knowing that Dean was trying to help - but also that is was working. “You shouldn’t put yourself through that.” Sam said quietly, I might end up hurting you.“ And I can’t do that. Not again. He wouldn’t hurt Dean again. He would never forgive himself if this detox hurt his brother too. Dean didn’t deserve that like Sam did.

“Sam–” The former angel said. It sounded pathetic, his voice so rough from the soreness of his throat. ( lucifer hadn’t eaten or drunk anything in days. he was unaware that he needed to, now ) “Sam,” he tried again, but it didn’t sound any better. There was no time to bother, though. Everything hurt, his head, his throat, his stomach. If being human was like this, it was not worth living for.

“Sam, I– need your help.”

(He's is Hell, he's in the cage, he can't be here.)

"You're not here." He spluttered, shaking his head quickly and stepping back further. Either Sam was hallucinating again, or Lucifer was actually stood there asking him for help.

Sam wasn't sure which would be worse.`

(M O N S T E R)

The word echoes in Sam’s head, and the hunter can’t control the rush of emotions. Guilt. Anger. Pain. 

After taking a long look at Sam, trying to reassure himself that his brother could do it, that he’d be okay, Dean gestured for Sam to follow him. “Com’on, we’ve gotta get you somewhere safe before you start being flung all over the place. I think Bobby’s panic room must’ve survived the fire. Not exactly comfy, but it’s as safe as safe gets.”

He nodded, following his brother and biting down hard on his lip as Dean mentioned Bobby's panic room. Memories flooded back. His younger self, his mom, Dean. And this time it would only be worse. He swallowed, "Yeah." He whispered, throat dry.

so leave a brotp/platonic ship in my ask and i’ll tell you:

who steals french fries off the other’s plate

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk

who starts and who wins the pillow fights

sam and dean per episode → pilot

(M O N S T E R)

The word echoes in Sam’s head, and the hunter can’t control the rush of emotions. Guilt. Anger. Pain. 

He hesitated before continuing, memories of the last time Sam had gone through detox flashing in his mind. If his brother was really willingly going to detox, he almost felt bad for how he was acting - Sam was bound to be terrified. Dean himself was scared. “So… How do you want to do this? Same as last time?”

 A g a i n.

(M O N S T E R)

The word echoes in Sam’s head, and the hunter can’t control the rush of emotions. Guilt. Anger. Pain. 

samjess: wedding

(M O N S T E R)

The word echoes in Sam’s head, and the hunter can’t control the rush of emotions. Guilt. Anger. Pain. 

“I don’t know what to think, Sam!” What was he supposed to make of this? After all that they’d been through that time, after Sam had been through part of the detox process - he knew how painful and perhaps even dangerous it could be - Dean simply couldn’t believe that Sam had gone back to demon blood.

It was like both fire and ice in his veins. Fighting and burning. And that was only the beginning. He knew that it would get worse, and quickly. The desperation would get worse, as would the pain. Sam would be lying if he said he wasn’t afraid. He was terrified. He knew that he only had himself to blame, and if going through the detox was the only way to prove to Dean that he meant what he had said, Sam was more than prepared to do it.

(M O N S T E R)

The word echoes in Sam’s head, and the hunter can’t control the rush of emotions. Guilt. Anger. Pain. 

His brother’s tone was heartbreaking, but Dean had to continue. He couldn’t let Sam keep heading in that direction, and he knew better than to trust Sam at that moment. He’d tried that the last time, and it hadn’t ended well.

"You really think I'm doing this on purpose?" He felt betrayed, the anger and accusing tone in his brother's voice hurting Sam much more than the constant need for demon blood thrumming under his skin.