✰RACHEL BERRY✰

Welcome to social media, mom, I’m shocked it took you this long to get this way of communication. Do you actually have a setting that isn’t really loud? How has everyone responded to you being here?

Either way, it’s good to have a new way of talking to you. Not being at home and being able to talk to you in person whenever you’re there too is a little odd still. 

Well, this definitely isn’t my first venture; I still cherish and miss the days of posting covers on Myspace.com for my adoring audience of twelve. Of course, I opened my Myspace when I was twelve, hence the low number. Those were much different days. I could be louder, if you prefer, sweetheart. :P I think I’ve had a pretty warm welcome, I know I’ve seen a few familiar faces as well as a good deal of feral excitement. 

I would love that, Rach! Name a time and restaurant and I’m in! Well, as long as I’m not on call or anything. But I’m sure I can pencil you in for some girl time. How have you been? 

For you, I can make time any night this weekend. Everyone has to eat dinner, right? Might as well share the meal with worthwhile company. I have been doing wonderfully, as always. I have a few things in the works, and of course Tony season is coming again and that always lights the candle, Nostalgia. How has the prettiest girl in New York City been since the last time we caught up?

Well, if it isn’t Ms. Rachel Berry.

And if it isn’t Mr. Kurt Hummel; it’s good to metaphorically see you! How have you been? We have to catch up soon over coffee, we have to.

She looks like a bengal. She’s very a very pretty cat. I’ve been making sure she has water in a bowl around the corner and I want to give her food but I’m worried if I do that she won’t find an acceptable home because she won’t leave.

How.. absolutely..  adorable! I know I already said it, but I can’t resist cats! They’re the most adorable thing that the world has to offer, that I am sure and there is not a soul that would disagree with me. If you don’t like cats, you don’t have a heart. It is the city, so strays are inevitable though it is very dangerous for them here. I would suggest taking her in and keeping her yourself. If you continue to see her outside though, it is very likely that she has figured out a very safe way of living. She may even belong to someone else, she might just like visiting you. I know those that want to control the population will disagree with me, but I would imagine that it’s safer to feed her than to not, if she keeps popping up. Worst case scenario, she stays a stray but a well-fed one that has a safe place to visit a particularly kind human. 

You’re chatty.. I didn’t say I didn’t like my job. It’s okay to not love something all the time. 

Rachel, it’s so good to see you here! How are you?

Why, if it isn’t the stage’s handsome prince charming, Blaine Anderson in the flesh; well, the digital flesh anyways. For starters, I know that you miss me as much as I miss you! I am glad you asked, actually, because I am on the precipice of further achievement. I don’t want to give away too much before it is time, but I will say that it’s about time that we see my name on more than just the familiar Broadway lights. It’s been too long since my last outside endeavor. 

Of course it is, of course you don’t, of course you did, of course it isn’t. Nothing ever is. That’s the point though, isn’t it? You’re just…Far too ‘you’ to see it. Have a fantastic evening, Rachel. 

I’m still having it here, where you chose to have it, despite everything I just said, am I not? I wish you would talk to me. 

I wish you wouldn’t tell people that shit, especially not publicly. Yeah. Sure. Well, Rachel, I’m sorry your feelings are hurt. Maybe I’ll consider working on what I’m doing, when you start recognizing the shit you did and do that cut me to my core. That is, before I stopped letting you and your bullshit affect me like that. How about that? No? Didn’t think so.

This is a personal, private conversation for sure, but I have no idea what you mean. I carried you for nine months, I was in the hospital for almost 24 hours giving birth to you, and I put my heart and soul and a fortune into raising you with every opportunity available to you along the way. But I digress, you’re allowed to be bitter, even if it’s not fair to me at all.

Oh Honey, trust me I have brushed my shoulders with greatness. I have shared the stage with Aretha Frankln, Pattie Labelle, Chaka Khan. Beyonce. In my career I have been truly blessed to grace the big screen and the stage. So meeting you isn’t as big of a thrill as you might think. I am Mercedes Jones though, its nice to meet you.

One of these days, if you keep working you’ll become one of those famous names that people drop when they brush shoulders-- like myself-- instead of the person dropping famous names. Not everyone can be blessed enough to have cultured knowledge of the arts and everyone that has made a mark within it, I know it’s time consuming to follow the lives of stars. I know it is, and I’m glad to have been able to give you that pleasure. Maybe I’ll send you some complimentary tickets to my next show-- are you located near enough to Broadway to be able to afford to make the trip or should I add some train tickets to this spontaneous giveaway package? 

English, and I’m not your dear. Yeah, whatever you say, Rachel. 

As brusque as ever, I see. You’re more than that, you’re my son. And like it or not, I am your mother. You cut me to my core, every single time you do that.