Caraphernelia

I’m someone from your past I hope you don’t remember.

I think of you often.

I think you might have been my first love.

Anyway, I hope you are doing well. And know that you are something so special

Hi anon,

If you’re someone from my past I have no doubt I’d remember you. I remember everyone that ever meant anything to me.

Maybe I think of you also.

There’s actually someone who has been on my mind so much lately, honestly every year. I think about them at random times, I think about the good, the bad, the shitty things I did when I didn’t know who I was or how to cope with those things. I often think about the small interactions that could’ve, probably did, mean more between the lines than either myself or they thought at the time.

I know what it’s like.. to think about someone whether you want to or not. How your idea of them and their memory creep into every day. You wonder what could’ve been if you would’ve just done what you wanted to do all those years ago. Would you be living in a little cottage with them with a wraparound porch and a door painted in their favorite color. Maybe you would hate the summers a little less, because that’s when their birthday was. Maybe you still look at old conversations together, maybe you try your hardest to push it all away at the end of the day.

Sorry, got carried away with that one. As you can probably tell, I’m doing as well as I can given life circumstances :) Regardless, I’d love to know who you are, no pressure of course.