I find lightweavers fascinating

I keep thinking about Stratt finding out that she's being nominated for world dictator head of the petrova taskforce... By the time we meet her, she's well resigned to being "the world's whipping boy" and understands that her job is to 1. do whatever it takes to survive and then 2. take all the blame for herself. How does a person react to that?! How did she react to that? How long did it take her to realize what she was being asked to do? I imagine she accepted the position gracefully and went to work immediately, but how does someone come to terms with a position that will define the rest of their life? What do you do when the fate of the world is put in your hands and you're told you will not be thanked for it? She had a life already, she had her own plans and ambitions, but now her job is to be the one to make the hard call over and over again and hope her efforts save enough of humanity that she can be put in prison for life for her many crimes against them. How does a person grieve all that?????? If that person is Eva Stratt, I can only imagine her doing so with a stopwatch in hand, portioning out moments to breathe before going back to her work