[In a room where it's all quiet]: Wow it's like a western front in here

Just found a $50 bill in the street let’s hear it for girls posting their Ws online

im craving asparagus wtf is wrong with me

it’s better than craving for her to love me back

i dont know what to say im sorry

Wait i can learn from my mistakes? Ohhhhh ok i was just using them to torment myself

half the men yall call daddy can't even put air in a tire. yeah he can pull your hair but can he chop an onion? no he cannot.

giggled at something and my coworker comes out of the break room and goes "I just heard like, a haunted child laugh... so weird." and I'm like okay so it was a normal regular alive adult laugh actually

can you believe it? sping has spung