Brazil Spill

In English

Once, my sister was stopped at a traffic light, my father next to her in the passenger seat. They were going to the dentist to get his dentures fixed, so Dad was toothless at the time. By this point, he was already quite deep in his dementia, very thin, and visibly frail.

Then the robber came with a gun in his hand, pressed the revolver against Mônica's head and said: "Give me the money or I'll shoot!"

My dad immediately reared up in his chair, opened his toothless mouth, and began to threaten the thief: "Shoot! I want to see if you really shoot, you son of a bitch! You'll see!"

Mônica, very angry, turns to the robber, points at her father, and shouts: “Shoot him! He’s the one who wants you to shoot! I have nothing to do with this!”

Meanwhile the light had already changed, the car and the thief were blocking traffic. He looked at the two, lowered the gun, and said resignedly: "You know what? You're crazy. We don't mess with crazy people."

And he left.

In her own words

Uma vez, minha irmã estava parada no sinal; meu pai estava ao lado dela no banco do passageiro. Eles estavam indo ao dentista para arrumar a dentadura dele, então papai estava sem dentes na hora. A essa altura do campeonato, ele já estava lelé da Silva na demência dele, além de bem magrinho e visivelmente frágil.

Veio então o assaltante de arma na mão, encostou o revólver na cabeça da Mônica e falou: “Me passa a grana senão eu atiro!”

Seu Joaquim imediatamente empinou na cadeira, abriu sua boca destentada, e começou a ameaçar o ladrão: “Atira! Quero ver se você atira mesmo, seu filho de uma égua! Cê vai ver só!”

Mônica, muito brava, vira pro assaltante apontando pro papai e grita: “Atira nele! Ele é que quer que você atire! Eu não tenho nada com isso!”

Enquanto isso o sinal já tinha aberto, o carro e o ladrão atrapalhando o trânsito. Ele olhou pros dois, baixou a arma, e falou resignado: “Quer saber? Vocês são é doidos. Com doido a gente não mexe.”

For English speakers not in the know: It's "shopping".

Told my mom about this video and she was like "Lebanese folk are basically honorary Brazilians at this point."

Me: BUT NOT A MONICÃO ONE!!! >:(