exhilarating and unbearably personal

Heavenly propaganda

For the next ten years, every day you'll be in a great mood, nothing that interferes with your life, just good happy days the way you just have those sometimes.

However, after the decade, you will magically become convinced that you spent these years in a terrible depression, and you will dismiss all evidence to the contrary as self-deception (eg, if you see a picture of yourself having fun with friends, you'll claim there's obviously a deep sadness behind your eyes, and that you remember feeling awful and were just putting up a brave face)

This effect will last for the remainder of your life and nothing will ever be able to change your mind.

There’s this feeling, once you leave where you grew up, that you don’t totally belong there again.