exhilarating and unbearably personal

youre never alone. bacteria

i have a false tooth filled with a placebo in case i'm ever captured and need to be a control subject

if you spoke to lestat or louis about your pain, they would say, "your pain? what about MY pain?" but if you spoke about your pain to armand he would say "let me lobotomize you and you will never feel pain again." he has a solution-based mindset and we could all learn from him.

i actually did draft a bunch of abortion jokes but ultimately decided not to keep them

as soon as she said “you know how they fuck, right?” I was like “please god let me hear the words ‘sexual dimorphism’ come out of Kate McKinnon’s mouth” and then I DID. Beauty.

this year’s prom theme is… *opens envelope* Great Lakes Invasive Species And What Boaters Can Do To Stop Them

And the subject of tonight’s ecology panel is *turns on powerpoint* Enchantment Under the Sea