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Price: *grumbling putting on sweats* For fucks sake Graves. Learn to text a guy before you drop by.

Price: *opens the door and sees Simon* Umm… Si? Are you ok pal?

Ghost: *with a defeated look on his face*

Price: *panicking thinking something happened* Nik?! It’s Simon, start the tea!

Thirty minutes later and Price coddling him.

Ghost: Johnny kicked me out

Price: *wide eyed* wait?! What?! What happened?!

Ghost: I ate the last slim jim, and he told me to go think about what I’d done

Nik: *nearly chokes on his tea*

Price: I… in hindsight I should’ve known better. Simon.. we’ve talked about being too literal here.

Meanwhile

Soap: *doordashed himself some more slim jims* Wonder where Si went.

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Price: *reading from a piece of paper* let’s see, it says ‘in the event of my death. Likely from doing something dumb, that LT explicitly told me not to do. I Johnathan Neil MacTavish, being of questionable mind. But smoking hot body, here by instruct you. *rubs his eyes* Jesus Christ Suds. Here by instruct you to leak my ao3 history, it’ll be funny.‘ And take a selfie with me.’

Ghost: *crashing out*

Gaz: *cackling*

Soap: *not seeing the issue* I wasn’t supervised, besides it would be.

Price: Son, we need to make this not legally binding. How the hell did you get it notarized anyway?!?!

Soap: *during an op that went bad* hope the pilots have good aim.

Ghost: *slow turn* why Johnny?

Soap: *shrugging* told ‘em to hit the orange smoke

Ghost: *turns his head three degrees to the right resisting the urge to commit a murder* you mean the smoke less than a foot from us?

Soap: *shrugs* wasn’t my best plan ok?

They all take off running

Soap: I don’t gotta be the fastest I just have ta be faster than all of you

Ghost: *about ready to kill him if the air strike doesn’t* THAT DOESNT EVEN APPLY IN THIS SCENARIO JOHNNY!!!!

Price: *stressed out* Can everyone please just fucking stop. God bless Texas over here is talking about tequila. The angry Scottish pipsqueak is trying to fight everyone. And successfully rage baited Gaz twice. Simon, why are you threateningly cleaning your knives? There’s no one else around. Graves is not gonna steal your man’s Gaz, for the love of god son. You kick me and I’ll throw away your snacks. And Nik? I’ll take that cig now please. You idiots make me what to commit felonies.

Laswell: Simon, I’ll pay you in a box of your favorite tea. If you corral Suds before John has a nervous breakdown.

Ghost: Deal *cracks his knuckles and now it’s a three way brawl*

Price: You guys are the reason why I smoke a pack a day

Nik: When I first worked with Price, he was not a villain. But he did what needed to be done. Sanctioned or not. He made a promise Kate, and he stuck to that promise.

Kate: There’s another way, if I can just.. then he’ll see it wasn’t ok. We can still bring him back and save his career.

Nik: That’s a cope out Kate, you didn’t expect him to go that far. Even though you know Mak is the reason Suds is gone. Don’t claim moral high ground because Price is done playing by the rules. Whatever happens next, you share equal blame for it. Don’t be like Shepherd and start trying to cover your ass now. If Ghost kills Price or vise versa. The blood is on your hands to. And I’ll go infront of your committees about it.

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Simon watching an old video of child Soap

Soap: ma, everyone is bigger than meh. I’ve seen babies bigger than me.

Mrs MacTavish: *off camera* this is the fifth time for fighting

Soap: You’d think I’d be better at it by now.

Mrs. MacTavish:

Soap: Can we stop for McDonalds? Getting beat up takes alot of energy.

Mrs. MacTavish:

Soap: It’s not easy being the fourth grade punching bag but someone has to do it.

Ghost: *turns to Soap* what the hell Johnny?

Soap: I was a precocious kid

Ghost: Not the word I’d use Johnny

Gaz: there’s no way he can

Price: *having just walked in* can’t do what?

Gaz: there’s no way Suds can do a dance he’s only seen once

Simon: *smug* oh ye of little faith, Johnny? Show them what’s good.

Soap: *replicates it perfectly*

Gaz: *throws table and stomps off*

Price: how long did it really take you to learn it Suds?

Soap: a week with a studio sized mirror

Simon: *hands Soap a twenty* pleasure doing business with you Johnny

Price: *having to hide his assumed smirk* you two are menaces

Dick: So I saw B’s contengency plans

Jason: *not looking up from his book* it’s not that I don’t see your rbf. It’s that I don’t care enough to ask why it’s there.

Dick: *crashing out* he has one for ‘in the event of my death due to CONDIMENT KING!!

Jason: *slowly closing his book.* what is condiment king going to do? Throw wasabi in his eyes?

Dick: And calendar man, and quizzler AND KITE MAN!

Jason: No no no, kite man I can see

Dick: SO NOT THE POINT LITTLE WING!!

Soap:*midway through his interpretive dance.*

Price: What in the…

Ghost: it’s his ‘bacon dance’ I didn’t have the heart to tell him the bacon fairy isn’t real.

Price:

Price: I don’t know why I’m even surprised anymore

Soap: *vouging into the cha cha slide*

Ghost: *heart eyes* I’ll make sure your bacon dreams come true Johnny

Price: *head palms*

Soap: I’m a logical adult, I know there’s no way I can strap some velcro to those pigeons and fly away. But it doesn’t stop me from wanting to.

Ghost: *eyeing the pigeons* No stealing my Johnny.. I know who you work for

Soap: *not paying attention still dreaming about his comic book Spidey moment*

Ghost: *into his phone* hey siri, make a note to track down the bourgeoisie

Soap: Wait.. what?

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Ghost: *standing in the kitchen doorway* what just happened?

Price: *coughs and waves away some smoke* your boyfriend Suds happened.

Soap: *puppy dog eyes holding a plastic melted grilled cheese*

Price: Three guesses on which part he forgot to do

Ghost: *heart eyes* I’ll order out for ya Johnny

Price: …. I give up

Ghost: *At his wits end* STOP WITH THOSE EYES. Quit looking like your whole world just ended because of a dropped uncrustable! For the love of god Johnny! Now I feel bad like I got your hopes up just to smash them back down on you!

Ghost: *aggressively grabbing his wallet and buying a new one*

Soap: *eye light up and happy clapping*

Ghost: clap louder Johnny, I just did you a favor

At the meet up you need to be ready for anything. From Graves and Keller soaring by at mach jesus. And at nose bleed inducing heights, Simon spilling blood. Or Soap’s round house kick, engaging his core and hips. But right now? It’s a race, Soap versus Ghost. And both are unchill assholes whom hate to lose. But Ghost will be dead before he puts a fang in his beloved Johnny. They followed closely to each other down the steep and winding slope. Ghost in front so he didn’t get distracted. Ghost inclined back, to graze his hand along the pavement. While Johnny did the opposite leaning in.

They don’t compete anymore, not competitively but it’s still fun to race. Having joined the same team a few years ago. Two power houses and legends that always get the crowd going.

Price: You lot are by far the biggest example of what I wanted versus what I got that I’ve ever seen.

All of 141 minus Price are sitting like misbehaving kids

Price: Instead of a surgical dream team. I got a Scottish gremlin, an awkward blonde duckling that clings to the gremlin like industrial strength glue. Talks like he’s on Twitter and will fight a squirrel on a dare. Likes strong women and makes sure we all know it. Red Guardian coded knuckle head. Tiny and dangerous that walks around. Like she’s got twin glocks. Quiet awkward turtle that won’t stop wearing skii googles for anything.

Graves: *interrupts the rant risking life and limb* Cap… all they did was sneak DoorDash into the range. Isn’t this a bit of an over reaction.

Soap: *to his boyfriend* I can literally feel the old man’s blood pressure rising.

Ghost: *bitching at Soap about tank driving* JOHNNY?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME BACK THE HELL UP?!

Soap: *thumbs up through the top of it then sits back down* We’re both doing a really good job here. Now which peddle is which again?? Ok, eanie, meanie, minnie.. THIS ONE!

*nearly runs Simon over, who’s screaming even louder now*

Soap: Oops, the other one then… still doing a good job. This is really fun, I’m gonna drive the tank again.

Price: *watching this disaster unfold* he may actually kill him this time

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Graves: Look at it this way Suds. You’re like the hot girl that everyone wants.

Ghost: *in a gay panic but trying to play it cool*

Graves: Who’s the hottest girl Suds?

Soap: me?

Graves: That’s right, now get those heels on and help me plan this op.

Soap: I’m the hot girl

Ghost: *failed the test* very fucking hot Johnny

Graves: *cackling from the next room*

Price: *at his wits end* Really Simon? That’s it, I have to ground you? I’m grounding you. You’re grounded!

Ghost: *who got caught smuggling tea out of the special forces base*

Ghost: *unimpressed thinking he’s still winning* And from what exactly? Missions?

Price: *spots an innocent wide eyed Soap walking by* No Johnny

Ghost: *sudden panic* wait! I’m sorry

Price: *over it* No Suds!

Soap: *wide eyed* The hell is even.. *spots Price’s glare* just gonna be like Dory and keep swimming.

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