#shed

Thought I got termed for a sec but nope I'm still here I was ready to make a new account

36 followers already just confess your love to me atp😍😍😍

Angels I need your help again I'm really bad at fasting and I'm thinking about doing the method where you spray perfume over the food so you don't eat it and do any of you know if it actually works?? <33

The fact that my weight from a year ago is now my goal weight haunts me constantly

every single time i do something my mind goes RIGHT back to sex! pretty much irregardless of who i'm thinking about

i'm always thinking about being fucked or doing SOMETHING sexual with someone

even when i'm with my family, by myself, at school

i can't get out of it

sometimes i love it

sometimes i realize that it's ruined me

sometimes i know that my fantasies have been spiraling and devolving into grotesque reconfigurations of what happened to me with the characters i've so pitifully fallen in love with

i know the things i desired were bad, and i'm revolted by the idea of them happening to anybody else

i've been found outby the people i love most and i just hope they understand that it's about me

i think i'm sick

it's all about me, no matter what i do

i masturbate until i cannot feel anything anymore

it feels good until the other thoughts come in and i take my blade and slice on my tan lines

but that turns me on even more

i hate it when my teeth chatter and my legs shake when i walk but nobody notices

i hate it when i repost concerning things for attention and nobody notices

i hate it when somebody notices and asks me what's wrong

i hate telling them what's wrong and only talking about issues that i have

i can't be fun or goofy unless i'm using a substance

i love using substances

whether it's weed or nicotine or alcohol

i really love it

but i know it's destroying me

i miss what i used to be

i miss being able to purge all of my food and feeling so light afterwards

i miss not having to pretend i don't still have bulimia

i hate being pretty but not pretty enough for anybody to truly want me for anything more than what i can offer in bed

i want to be used in bed but it's also my worst nightmare because of how deeply i crave romantic affection

Managed to work out to a kubz scouts video it wasn't much but I guess something is better than nothing <33