screaming into the void

"Hey, first lesson of being a manager: never schedule anything. You can't ever schedule anything more than 48 hours ahead."

Like yeah, it's true, I know that this job has lots of stuff like this. And I get it came from a place of genuine sympathy, he outright said he had to reschedule his own wedding due to this stuff. Hell, if I could tell him how serious this shit is, he'd likely be willing to at least do, I dunno, something.

But as it is... well, I just kinda got confirmation that I'm never going to even be able to seek therapy at all, didn't I? Like I know on some level that isn't what he meant, but else am I supposed to take it as? Yeah, sure, it's not like I've been traveling every few weeks, there were probably a few gaps where I could attended and maybe had some progress if I got over myself. But how was I supposed to do that when I've never had any reason to believe that going down the road wont end exactly how I think it will?

And I can't get therapy once the two weeks are done. Well, maybe I can, but not for long. Cuz I've been told I'm gonna have to move again in August, and I have no idea when that will be going on. It'll be like four therapy sessions and then I'll have to start over completely with a new therapist. Except I don't even know I'll be able to find a new therapist. I could end up somewhere where there's nobody who will even respect me if I bring up my dysphoria, and... I can't keep thinking about this crap.

I'm fucking sick of this shit. I'm sick of being a fucking ragdoll. I'm sick of pretending this job is good. It's not. My commute is horrid, the location is awful, the schedule is torture, and if I ever chose to actually live my own life the way I want I could legitimately just get thrown out of the company like a used tissue. None of that is fucking good.

I think about signing up for therapy again

Get worried- it’s gonna definitely be a pain to do, it’s probably gonna be stressful, and it’s another step towards the inevitable nightmare of coming out at the company

Procrastinate, put it off for a while

I finally work up the resolve to get started

God I’m never moving forward in life at all, am I?

No. Because I still know that I’m going to come out someday- or at least I’ve got to keep thinking I will, cuz not is worse- and I’ve got to think about how everyone will react when that happens. The person I just met seems really nice, are they still gonna be nice when the truth comes out? The co-worker who’s really happy to have me around, will he still be happy when I’m honest with him?

We're having our turn in the heat wave and reports from the National Mall are brutal already this week. That screenshot is today's forecast (courtesy of the Capital Weather Gang) and tomorrow and Saturday are confidently going to be worse than this is.

The national Mall has no shade on the grass and you will be exposed to the sun constantly while also experiencing extremely high humidity. You will not be allowed a bag over a certain size to enter the mall and it has to be clear. You cannot have an insulated water bottle, it has to be clear. Reports are that there are two entrances to the area so you'll have to wait in line to even get in. I cannot find a number on how many cooling stations there are, except that it's "few" to "none" depending on what accounts I read online. Vendors are allegedly charging more than the posted prices and seem to be unprepared for actual crowds - these are the official vendors not the scam food trucks that park all around the edges of the mall. And that's the extent of the planning done because it was not a priority to make sure attendees don't pass out.

My local friends and I have reached a consensus that tourists are going to get extremely sick and none of us know what the EMT response or planning is on the mall this year. People are going to die.

Trump says his new Qatari Air Force One is "the greatest commercial plane ever built ... I have the privilege of flying it"

"The country is very proud of it. And you can do two things -- you can low key it, or you can show it. And I think the country should be very proud of it."

Q: How much did it cost American taxpayers to upgrade the plane?

TRUMP: It cost very little relative to what it would cost if we did it a different way. This was a gift from a country that's treated us very well.

Q: Your financial disclosure shows you had a very lucrative year last year. What message does this send to average Americans?

TRUMP: Well, you know, I don't get involved. We have funds that run my money

Q: But you are benefiting. We're talking billions of dollars

TRUMP: Well I made a lot of money before I became president. You saw the cash.

"I'm profiting because the stock market is going up. Everybody is profiting. Thank you President Trump."

Trump's failsons are also here

We're having our turn in the heat wave and reports from the National Mall are brutal already this week. That screenshot is today's forecast (courtesy of the Capital Weather Gang) and tomorrow and Saturday are confidently going to be worse than this is.

The national Mall has no shade on the grass and you will be exposed to the sun constantly while also experiencing extremely high humidity. You will not be allowed a bag over a certain size to enter the mall and it has to be clear. You cannot have an insulated water bottle, it has to be clear. Reports are that there are two entrances to the area so you'll have to wait in line to even get in. I cannot find a number on how many cooling stations there are, except that it's "few" to "none" depending on what accounts I read online. Vendors are allegedly charging more than the posted prices and seem to be unprepared for actual crowds - these are the official vendors not the scam food trucks that park all around the edges of the mall. And that's the extent of the planning done because it was not a priority to make sure attendees don't pass out.

My local friends and I have reached a consensus that tourists are going to get extremely sick and none of us know what the EMT response or planning is on the mall this year. People are going to die.

There is historically an assumption that attendees will have access to planned amenities. It's not in place this year of all years. There is a very real risk here and I'm trying to warn people, because people simply don't know how awful this is about to be.

I think about signing up for therapy again

Get worried- it’s gonna definitely be a pain to do, it’s probably gonna be stressful, and it’s another step towards the inevitable nightmare of coming out at the company

Procrastinate, put it off for a while

I finally work up the resolve to get started

God I’m never moving forward in life at all, am I?

No. Because I still know that I’m going to come out someday- or at least I’ve got to keep thinking I will, cuz not is worse- and I’ve got to think about how everyone will react when that happens. The person I just met seems really nice, are they still gonna be nice when the truth comes out? The co-worker who’s really happy to have me around, will he still be happy when I’m honest with him?

I think about signing up for therapy again

Get worried- it’s gonna definitely be a pain to do, it’s probably gonna be stressful, and it’s another step towards the inevitable nightmare of coming out at the company

Procrastinate, put it off for a while

I finally work up the resolve to get started

God I’m never moving forward in life at all, am I?

I think about signing up for therapy again

Get worried- it’s gonna definitely be a pain to do, it’s probably gonna be stressful, and it’s another step towards the inevitable nightmare of coming out at the company

Procrastinate, put it off for a while

I finally work up the resolve to get started

I haven't seen anyone talking about this and just wanted to make a quick post on here.

Akihiro Miwa recently passed away peacefully june 20th, and was not only a drag queen and a queer icon, but also the japanese voice of Arceus in the movie Arceus and the jewel of life, as well as the witch from Howl's moving castle and Moro from Princess Mononke.