I Will Not Feel Shame About The Mall Pretzels.

ngl it’s so crazy to me that some people think andrew choking kevin was out of character for him. there’s plenty of evidence to suggest otherwise, but the scene where he goes after allison in particular shows that when andrew’s promises conflict with one another, (ex. aaron vs neil), he prioritizes the one that he deems most pressing in that moment. what’s more, if someone stands in the way of andrew’s efforts to protect someone, he will always, ALWAYS, escalate. it’s a knee-jerk reaction. it’s tunnel-vision. choking kevin was not a premeditated decision to hurt someone he cares about, it was a goal-oriented response to the fact what neil was in danger. i’m not saying that characters cannot be poorly written, but as @andrewminyard-josten has articulated before, it’s really crazy to refer to the CANON CHARACTER as ooc because he doesn’t match your perception of him.

we talk a lot about how much of a revelation andrew’s confession is for neil, and not enough about how revelatory neil’s reaction is for andrew. because like. imagine you like this boy. but he doesn’t swing. you know the answer would be “no,” so there’s no point in even asking. then he goes and gets himself needlessly tortured for you, and tells you there’s no amount of suffering he wouldn’t endure for you. not because he thinks you’re weak, but because he thinks you’re worth protecting. he says things that you would interpret as advances if it were literally anyone else. you remind yourself that he doesn’t swing. now you’re at eden’s and he’s asking about your feelings for him in 12 different ways. he really wants to know. so you tell him, in the most casual and crass way you can, thinking that’ll put an end to it. but unfathomably, it doesn’t. he asks you why you didn’t tell him. why would you have? it would have been a “no.” you say that, and instead of confirming it, he just echoes your words, clearly still reeling. you start to leave, and he tells you that he wants to keep playing your game. while the absence of a “no” is obviously not the same thing as a “yes,” you’ve been operating for months and months under the assumption that the answer would be unequivocal. so you keep waiting for that answer, but it never comes. for the first time since you met him, you wonder if maybe it’s not a “no” after all. if maybe you could have this. you can’t remember the last time you were able to have something you wanted. the world tilting on its axis, indeed.

Andrew thought he made himself unbreakable, unknowable, that there wasn’t a single crack in his armor that someone could peek through and see his fleshy, bleeding insides. But then someone did. Neil did. And he saw the rotted truth of Andrew and he asked to stay. And he didn’t poke around, or push. He looked, and looked, and looked, and decided that Andrew was someone to stand by. Someone that could support his weight and hold him up. He saw strength when others had seen weakness. Andrew covered himself in thorns so anyone who dared to get too close would cut themselves on his sharp edges. Oh, but Neil didn’t mind cuts and scrapes. He would gladly bleed for Andrew. Andrew, who thought he had built a fortress around himself that couldn’t be sieged. But Neil didn’t mind standing outside his borders, content with just staring within, and waiting for a “yes” that might never come. How dare he? How dare he? Andrew was furious. He wasn’t built for harmless glances and soft touches, he made sure of that. Who was this nobody, this nothing who thought he could come around and make Andrew believe in something he wouldn’t tolerate in his life? God, did he hate Neil. He hated his patience. And his staring. And his ability to navigate Andrew’s sharp edges without cutting himself. It makes him sick how easy it is with Neil. Wasn’t Andrew better than that? Didn’t he make sure something, someone, like this would never happen? What makes Neil Abram Josten different? Why does he get to see what Andrew hides from the world, from himself? Why can’t Andrew tell him no, make him leave and never return? Why does that feel like his dead, cold heart is being ripped from chest? Why does he grip the bars of his cage and shake like a feral beast at the thought of not having this man in his life? He was supposed to be better than this. He was supposed to be protected from something like this. Oh, what a disappointment Andrew has become. Another fool at the mercy of the most dangerous thing in the world.

andrew 'doesn't-mean-i-wouldn't-blow-you' minyard really came back from the baltimore fiasco with one (1) thought in mind: almost lost the fucking idiot, this mf could actually really just die anytime anywhere, can't afford to procrastinate any longer, must give blowjob asap, top priority, no further delay tolerated, regrets not optional

Kevin coming out to Neil tbh