bratty lil thing🩷

humiliation of someone being gentle with you. the humiliation of being stripped bare and have gentle hands pressed upon your skin. humiliation of having to accept it. being unable to brush it off again. humiliation that overwhelms and fills the air because you're letting it happen for the first time and still learning how to relax, to kiss without your shoulders tensing. the humiliation of how self-conscious you are, and how it isn't gonna change the way they touch you

i feel like im getting worse, more worthless, more useless

girlhood is having a specific song to listen to when they need to cry

nobody teaches you how to go about life when you didn’t expect to be alive this long

A knife? Are you flirting with me?

I wish a BPD simulator existed so people could experience how devastating their words and actions can be to someone whose mind is constantly against them. I wish people could understand the weight of abandonment and rejection. I wish there was a social understanding of how debilitating this illness can be. I wish people were more gentle and understanding of how suicidal ideation can creep into someone’s mind so quickly and convince them that there is only one terrible solution. I wish people understood how lonely it is to feel so misunderstood and out of place with everyone in your life. How sick it is to feel like such an unlovable burden all the time. BPD is such a villain and it is so exhausting to live with and I am so tired of it.