Ark

Few things more clearly advertise that you're a man than two thigh holsters 🥵

The last time I lay down like this, a girl who hated me came by and stomped her big boot right down on my soft 🥜 and left me curled in a ball of pain, sobbing for the next half hour.

A properly fitted climbing harness will make it abundantly clear to everyone that you're an adult male. After all, you have to make sure it's properly fitted or else the harness itself could crush or strangle your most vulnerable parts 😬

The heel specifically looked for jobbers who were straight and had girlfriends who loved to come see them in the ring. Why?

View my wife sees on the morning of our anniversary 😈

The confident swagger that comes from knowing that you're about to have wonderful sex and you've got protection. Why? Because you're a mature virile man with fat 🥜 full of potent seed.

His expression is asking "Seriously?"

His wife snagged a clip of this interview and kept it on her phone for whenever he was playing an away game.

Oh yes! This is the best kind of anticipation where you can just lay back and let her hands play.

The man in the foreground was teased once about the diminutive bulge he had in his shorts. But everyone who knew him well knew why. He had fought a mugger who tried to assault him and his wife and in the melee had taken a bad hit down below. He fought through the excruciating pain and saved his wife. Unfortunately that strike took out one of his dynamic duo.

Definitely one of the positions where a cup is most essential: lacrosse goalie.

It's a real sign of respect how little time he spent in contact with the vulnerable compound. Just a quick reminder of "hey. I could really put your boys in pain, but I respect you as a man and as a worthy opponent, so I won't"

The man's father always looked deeply proud of him. After all, he had taught him from a young age to always guard his 🥜 - the source of his future family - and never to be embarrassed about the bulge of a cup. While he hadn't fully understood at first, he had done as his father said. But as he grew up and matured he began to get it. True clarity came the first time he took a foul tip off his cup. It was terrifying. But thanks to his Nutty Buddy, he just felt a little pressure and was able to continue playing. He watched fellow players take hits that left them rolling on the ground in pain and he really understood than how vital this piece of equipment is. From then on, he didn’t need his dad to tell him to wear his cup. He knew. He was a man. He had a man's equipment and that equipment was vulnerable and incredibly valuable and as such needed the best protection.

Oh my goodness! How to drive me crazy with desire!