See You In Heck

snapping my homies out of being corrupted by the curse by firmly gripping their shoulders and telling them to "get real"

that didn't work. okay. time for plan b *gets down on my knees and starts tying my hair back*

my favorite thing is to say "investing in" instead of "buying"

just closed on a big deal with a major grocery chain vis-a-vis the procurement of some fresh strawberries

isn't it so funny there's such a thing as "customer service voice"? Like I have to speak to you like a child or you'll rip my face off like a wild chimp

stop using google chrome. switch to mozilla firefox.

also put on these fox ears and this tail plug and start mewling

you don't have to do that

Frankly, if I'm the odd one in a group I'd rather be mislabelled than singled out. "All right, ladies – oh, and Dave" like, don't put me on the spot like that. For the purpose of this exercise I will answer to "ladies".

*steps in a puddle and a Dark Souls style status effect bar rapidly fills until I’m struck with !!WET SOCKS!! nd i explode and die horribly*

*at the ADHD wizard meeting* sometimes i just find it difficult to hocus-focus

I always forget that he has a dental PhD. Which he’s actually admitted provided a lot of fuel for his mouth based body horror.

why so /srs?

The /j er

Why did this make me laugh

Because my friend you have a jovial soul

who said a white boy cant get squirky on the beat