let every river envy our mouths

Guy who watched 5 Hail Mary video logs: comments like that belie a narrow, heteronormative view of relationships. Dr. Grace and Rocky’s bond is something that likely transcends baser human categories like “sexual” or “romantic”. Either way, all this speculation on the nature of their relationship takes away from more important conversations about Dr. Grace’s contributions-

it's only been a handful of months since the film came out and the film ao3 tag is already insanely big. as such, i'm definitely missing out on some great fics that by all rights ought to be on this list. if you've read something cool lately, please throw a reply under this list so i and others can check it out!

in the meantime, here's a bunch of authors i'm obsessed with who one day will receive a hugo award. or maybe already have, honestly. in this lineup i'd hardly be surprised.

GEN/TEEN

forever altered by @deervsheadlights (T)

Grace finds an extra bag of vodka. Rocky makes clear to us, the audience, that nobody has ever suffered so nobly for love like an Eridian having to be designated driver.

"I will not describe the next 1,042 seconds in any further detail, because the very reminder of it leaves my insides writhing in ways that make me consider whether there could be kindness in the embrace of the void waiting beyond the Hail Mary's hull."

better than your best by Goldmonger (T)

One of the best explorations of Rocky's trauma relating to sleeping alone for nearly half a century, using some great additions to Eridian biology and culture to get those feelings out in the open.

"You can’t build while you’re sleeping, but you can die. You can die for no reason at all."

The Chain (Keeps Us Together) by @bottommattmurdock (G)

Vignettes of conversations during the long, boring task of making a chain, and two aliens becoming besties4life. As the author says, it's extremely 'delirious at the sleepover' vibes, in the best way possible.

"Grace eats a breakfast burrito. Throwing himself out of the airlock has been postponed. For now."

silence more musical than any song by @hansdevice (G)

Rocky's years alone on the Blip-A, trying to engineer himself out of an impossible problem. Incredible characterisation of someone who's only surviving by pushing their skills and competence to the bitter limits, and still not succeeding despite it.

"After twenty-seven years alone, he builds a nest. It’s humiliating, this primitive effort. It feels like something ♪♫♪♫♫♩ would do, not an Eridian, but what other choice does he have?"

Without a Doubt by @eldritch-elrics (G)

An amazingly detailed and well-researched dig into linguistics that, in the PHM tradition, finds a tender story in the exploration of a really dense subject.

"'Does Grace feel like the dictionary is cucking him?' Rocky says in the placid tones of the TTS."

MATURE/EXPLICIT (UNDER THE CUT)

“War, famine, pestilence, and death. Astrophage is literally the apocalypse. The Hail Mary is all we have now. I’ll make any sacrifice to give it even the tiniest additional chance of success.” – Eva Stratt, page 431

That's not what Eva would call it if asked. She is not good at jokes which is apparent by the way this one falls flat. If Eva had to call it anything, she'd call it a ruse. A clever diversion. Of course the second coffee is for Dr. Grace but she knows better than to give a man who just vomited twice and whose throat is probably scraped raw a hot, caffeinated liquid. She didn't expect him to react this intensely to the experience but she really should have. He's a civilian, not military. She needs to remember that going forward.

So she pulls the cups to her chest and says “I need both” expecting him to look at her weird. But he's not missing a beat, just smiles crookedly and waves it off and Eva thinks once again: ‘I'm not good at jokes.’

☕☕☕☕☕☕

“Here you go.”

Eva looks up and there are two coffees sitting on her desk. Dr. Grace sits down next to her, sipping at his own cup, already distracted by papers he was handed for review.

Two coffees. Black.

She opens her mouth to tell him she doesn't need both but snaps it shut when he glances over at her and grins. She lifts one to take a sip and pulls the other one closer to herself.

It can't hurt.

☕☕☕☕

It keeps happening.

Two coffees. On her desk, waiting in her office, shoved into her hands on the way to another mind numbing meeting.

It doesn't happen all the time. Only on especially stressful days or when she is barely able to keep her eyes open. She's unsure if Dr. Grace knows it's just a bit that doesn't need to be indulged all the time or if he is genuinely concerned about her caffeine intake.

He doesn't tell her. She doesn't ask.

☕☕☕☕☕☕

He doesn't bring her two coffees when he meets with her to tell her that he can't do it, that he doesn't have it in him.

She's glad. She doesn't deserve it.

If he had, he might have taken one of them and thrown it in her face.

(he wouldn't)

She would deserve it.

☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕

She orders the technicians to reprogram the food distribution part of Mary and assign Dr. Grace Ilyukhina’s coffee ration. The Russian woman rarely drinks coffee anyway. She will just have to deal. Eva feels guilty for all of a second before she soothes her own conscience with the fact that Grace will definitely share his ration with the woman anyway if she really craves some caffeine.

He's good like that.

☕☕☕☕☕☕☕

The launch goes off without a hitch. The atmosphere is somber and quiet. There is no loud countdown, no champagne for everyone. Just whispers and a table with some snacks and coffee.

Eva pours herself two cups, just out of habit. Puts cream and sugar in one of them.

Habit, everything.

She stares, unmoving, at the two cups sitting on the table for so long a hand reaches past her to take one of them, probably thinking they are up for grabs for everyone. It's the cream and sugar one, the one she won't drink anyway. She could let them take it but instead she grabs both cups before the other hand can.

“I need both,” she says.

The person next to her makes a face. Like she is being weird.

and then thinking about all the people who call her cold or uncaring or clinical about what she has to do to save earth. eva stratt, who had silly t-shirts and vodka and favorite meals stored in the Hail Mary and treated with the same level of importance as the finely tuned equipment and the centrifuge the entire planet relies on for salvation.

and then thinking about eva stratt nodding and saying, “yeah, I’m pretty awful. that’s why i’m in charge” with a neutral expression and even believing it. as if crafting the most beautiful coffin and homage to her soon-to-be dead friends won’t haunt her always.

thinking about eva stratt being the first person on the “eva stratt is a monster” train, welcoming ryland grace aboard and knowing she believed in him more than anyone else.

"I'm Slowly Forgetting Your Face"

Flowers:

Roses - Love

Forget Me Nots - Memory