Quills and Ink

I have a lot of dental medical trauma. A couple of years ago (at the end of July even) I had a massive tooth infection that ultimately led to getting 6 teeth taken out. Four of them were my wisdom teeth. For me, it was level 10 pain and I was terrified of the whole process. I was put under for the procedure which was a whole other thing (that wasn't really an issue. Just weird.)

Here comes the problems.

My family doesn't have great genetics when it comes to teeth. That much was made evident tonight when I had another tooth crack. It was a tooth that was next to one that got taken out. Currently, at 2:29 AM my anxiety is through the roof. I can't relax and I am actively avoiding that part of my mouth. I feel like I am going to puke and I have a tickle in the back of my throat that won't let up.

I have a friend that works with a dentist and she can put a temporary cap on it so the nerve won't over react. Great. Fantastic. Short term solution.

PLUS, I don't have great dental insurance. (American health care sucks all around). So to go to my former dentist (which I would love. He was great.) I would have to purchase a dental plan. Fine. Whatever. I am an adjunct professor currently on break. I have funds saved up, but to purchase something that I want to actively avoid???? NO GO.

To top it all off, I can't take pills. I can't swallow things whole like medication. It is a known issue with all my doctors and something that is incredibly annoying. It is a mental block coupled with an incredibly acute gag reflex (also a known issue with the dentist.). So taking a Xanax to help with the anxiety probably won't go well.

AND in July, the family is expecting a new baby that we would love to go and meet when then they arrive. I don't have the time to make appointments when we want to leave at almost a moments notice.

I am trying to be okay. I got a hug from my mom and I cried a bit on her shoulder. BUT I am not okay. I know that.