Joke Palace

walking down the street with my 250 year old transgender elf gf and the other elves are glaring at her whispering cradle snatcher... predator... creep... and she grips my hand a little tighter, I wordlessly squeeze her hand back and stretch, revealing the handle of my dark killing blade, and they swiftly scatter and hide in their homes. she smiles, and I swear to you, she's more radiant than the sun, more precious than life itself, and she tells me "you're so widely feared for someone your age,"

i hope a ceiling fan falls on the empty spot in the bed next to you and it starts understanding your needs

stop reblogging this post without the art this is the only version that exists now

Your too late mr bond I alreasy peed out all my pee from my penis

FUCK. honestly just FUCK. We missed a very important day yesterday.

what was yesterday, cat?

I’m not missing it this year.

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

hate when I type :) and this 🙂 fucker appears. Go away you evil soul

real talk I think steampunk is kinda neat like sorta neat you'know like as a little touch of spice to a setting that shouldn't normally have that kinda stuff. like a robot arm here a gun there some contraptions elsewheres. like skies of arcadia levels of steampunk is pretty much ideal. but y'see ultimately I'm pro-steampunk as a concept. but real talk for a second if your setting has a place called "the clockwork [location or concept]" I'm gonna beat you to death with hammers.