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But I am kissing pavement again,

Next to that roadkill we passed last year.

And same as the headlights that night,

This is only ethical.

full excerpt beneath the cut

They aren't magically okay with everything. Its still uncomfortable when they have to be vulnerable and its still distressing when they have to be away from loved ones.

But, what outlines them as secure is their ability to call back to core beliefs that are foundationally related to trust. They choose to believe that they are safe, and whilst doubts may still appear, that choice is what they act upon. They are able to communicate respectfully and openly as well as exit a situation if it isn't working out for them.

That doesnt mean those things aren't uncomfortable, or that they dont hurt. Everything can be painful at times; humans are a deeply feeling species. Its about how we deal with the pain that defines our relationships and security.

Don't try to push down your emotions or thoughts to achieve an ideal as that will send you deeper into unhealthiness, just in a different form. You should accept your experiences and work with them the way you would work with a scared child. Don't give in, don't ignore. Prove to them that its safe.