This holiday season don't forget to bite the hand that feeds you

does it scare you that in less than 3 months it’ll be 2014

im gonna be real with you hotboyproblems it scares me somuch

i’m just tryna have a nice time despite knowing facts and information

Holy fuck the original is worse

fun fact about me is I have no money. every month I spend it all on house I don't own

wait no not a fun fact. this fact sucks. sucks fact

Keeping this ready for 2025

I wish they could invent a medical device that temporarily transfers your symptoms and pain to the doctor treating you and it worked like a shock collar. “I think light exercise would-.” and then bam they’re rolling around the floor clutching their stomach in agony and dry heaving.

i just went to cool town and they said they knew u

i also just went to dehydrated town and they said you are a hometown legend

narrator who's terrible at social cues & describes every facial expression as "unreadable"

"The frown was completely unreadable. Thankfully, the loaded and raised gun offered a clue."

theres like a guarantee that if someone’s url ends in “course” or “discourse” theyre an asshole

what the hell is my life. i should be working in a record store

it's a depressing app but I still use it everyday

this post isn't about tumblr im talking about front facing camera