BorrisTheLiger

Id known you about half my life.

We had inside jokes for days. You saw my many ups and my many trivial downs of my life. You held my hand, met my family and i met yours, knew exactly what to do when i needed it. Protected me when i needed it. You were essentially my other half. I knew i never had to depend on a boy as long as i had my sister gifted to me by the universe.

Somewhere along the lines...things shifted...roles shifted.

What used to be fun and easy going became a one sided competition that started the wedge between us.

I was doing everything wrong when i had no idea...was i even doing anything wrong besides being myself?? Honestly...

I was put down for looking or acting a certain way even though i never judged you. Not once.

You started treating me like a child or like someone on a high horse talking down to me like i was an ignorant puppy.

You essentially were the last straw that broke me.

You hurt me in ways no one could ever.

You took pieces of me I'm forever afraid to share again without questioning trust.

It took one night...of built up anger, broken trust and frustration and i lost my patience which was wrong but it was coming eventually...

Even after learning you throwing dirt on my name (even though to this day i still never do for you btw) i still want the best for you.

I want you to genuinely smile again.

I want a love so fierce you forget the pain.

I want your dreams to come true.

I want you to be surrounded by love and true friends.

I want all this for you.

But i never want you in my life again.

With best regards,

I am comfortable in my own shoes. At peace staying in and just being alone.

True beauty lies in being perfectly happy alone.

Crazy to think how much things have changed.

Crazy to look back and see evolution. Im so thankful.

Things were great in the beginning. I was madly in love. We were so cute i know we disgusted people. You always adjusted my hair so it wasn't in my eyes or mouth. We gamed together and it was my favorite part. You asked me to be yours forever. You were my best friend. My person

Somewhere things shifted

We started arguing more and more. I wasn't doing or saying the right things. I wasn't who you wanted. You called off the wedding and that crushed my heart. You didn't mean too but you were getting back at me for the things i put you through. You became my enemy. I started recognizing you less and less. When i looked in the mirror i saw a stranger staring back at me. I lost myself in trying to make you happy. You did the same. Then i became obsessive, reading into every tiny detail wondering what was wrong so i could fix it right away.

Then....

Things ended. For real this time. Us as we knew it came to an end. We were no longer.

Not having you to cuddle, not having you to send memes too, not having you to talk about my day with has crushed me. It has literally broken every piece of me.

But

You are extraordinary. You are smart and kind. You have helped me open my eyes to my faults, even better you help me everyday work towards being better. I want to be the person i know you deserve. I dont want you to feel broken. I want to hold your hand while you find your place in this world. I want to be there to see your eyes gleam with excitement when you find something you are passionate about. I want to hype you up.

So all i am asking is for a clean slate.

Lets start over.

But dont forget the bad times, because of the bad times it has made us more aware, more patient, more accepting. I love you so much. More than i could ever express with words, so i will show you with actions.

To the moon and back

Through rain and rainbows

Through clouds and shooting stars

Ill always be here

You met mom through some friends and one drunken new years day full of cigarettes and booze you and mom celebrated and you made me. This was the start. But not of something special, more like a nightmare. You had anger problems and unresolved hatred towards life. You didn't know better, it's what you were taught. You tried to kill mom, with me inside. Then things got better, the whole past aside. You were excited when I took my first breath and promised me the world despite your regret. But after birth the tables had turned, your rage unfolded and you hurt mom. Almost until death. She could only take so much. Grandma got involved and so did the police and thus came tragedy a year after your first release. Mom took off to find some peace, you said you would follow and she never gained relief. We moved around looking for a home. We found one in Texas, New York, and Miami. Then I moved back because mom was broke. Physically and emotionally. She worked hard putting back together the puzzle you so easily destroyed. I started school and after sometime gained curiosity, I wanted to know the other half of what made me. You made promises. Big ones. The kind that left me excited. I thought, this is it. I've got a dad. But they always fell short, something always came up. I'd follow you, not on social media, but looking you up through the courts and prisons. I always found you. Always gave you chances. You always broke promises. I guess it hurts so much because I won't have you there. Through my college graduation, because you said you would be at my high school one but got arrested. I didn't think I'd have to walk down the aisle alone on my wedding day. I didn't think I'd alone. You were supposed to show me the ropes. How to change a tire, how to ride a bike, how to be loved. You love your friends, your dope, stealing and money more than me. I guess I should be thankful or I wouldn't be me. I wish you could see me. Ive got a daughter and shes beautiful. A lot like me. Dont worry though she has another grandpa. One day I came to visit cause you asked, you asked for money to call your wife and also the reason you are in prison, you couldnt stop the violence and yet once again putting me behind. I'm writing this and you'll probably never see it, but I had to, for me, it needed to be said.

Sincerely,

Trees greener than ever.

Thoughts ever lasting.

She is beautiful.

She is fun, daring and adventurous

The true description of perfection

The need for sleep fades and she’s talking fast.

She then gets irritated by a single word

A single sound.

Things that are still seemingly go flying

The bright sunrise sets

It’s dulled by her mind

Happiness is fleeting.

Smiles turn to frowns.

Compliments turn to lies.

Mirrors begin turning showing failure

The beauty becomes mystery

The adventures turn into a river of tears.

She hates herself that she can’t make you smile because she’s exhausted

She’s reclusive from the world

Her castle comes crumbling down

She sleeps like the beauty.

Her beautiful faces remains but yet seems like a stranger.

The glisten in her eyes turns to anger

And so the cycle continues