it's always been u...

you're both tucked into bed. he's so sleepy, so tired. you would do anything to have him be like you– to have the ability to lay his head on his pillow and knock out in less than five minutes. unfortunately, his thoughts keep him awake, but he thanks whoever is in charge for your presence.

you're laying on his chest, eyes closed. your right hand on his left ear, fingers running over it and on his lobe. usually this would help, but he needs to hear you.

"love?"

"hm"

"you awake?"

"mm-hm"

"talk to me."

"m'kay"

you scoot up and invite him to lay on your chest instead. you tell him about the book you've been reading. how it made you cry. how you wish it would have ended differently.

decorating your home because both of you didn't have the chance to fully embrace the holiday when you were children. skulls are a must, of course.

a trip to the store so you have candy and little trinkets to give away for the neighborhood kids.

you have two costumes: one for handing out candy, and another for a spooky, slutty night out w simon. he's proud that he can save his coins by just slipping on his skull balaclava -.- (and his black leather jacket you gifted on his birthday).

just wanted to say thank you for all the love my silly little fics/drabbles have been getting 🫂 i started this acc on impulse but im glad i did cause writing for fictional men is awesomeeee

i will be starting work/school soon so i can't guarantee i'll be updating as often. i don't want this writing thing to become unenjoyable, so i won't force myself to post like all the time 😓 howeveeeer, i'll still be on here and will be open to hc's or asks or whatever lolol

i need to work on adding some rules and also a masterlist fr 🫣

thanks so much anon!! i always second-guess my writing so this is really nice of u to say 🥹

when you first told him, his jaw fell to the floor. shock took over. all he could think was, "i helped make a baby?"

he cried, he just couldn't believe you both were actually forming a little family. that night he couldn't sleep. he was up thinking about how pretty you would look carrying his child. he thought about names, what if it was a girl? and...oh god what if it was twins? tears brimmed his eyes again, he turned over to see you fast asleep, a small smile on your face. you both dreamt of little hands and chubby cheeks that night.

why did he make time for you then? why did he trust you as much as he did? sometimes he looks at you so intently, with a glint in his big brown eyes that screams 'i love you but i can't be near you'

what was he so afraid of? you asked him this once, and he gave you an answer that had nothing to do with your initial question. "you're too young to be occupied with someone like me. you deserve to live. go out and make friends."

"i don't want friends. i want you."

he said nothing, and the lit end of his cigarette laughs at you.

you like pain though, and you love him. maybe thats why he never hears 'no' from you, or an 'im busy', or 'not tonight'.

its addicting, the way he holds you. the way he hugs you tight to his chest as he fucks into you. simon riley would never lie to you, which is why he never verbally tells you he only wants a fuck-buddy.

he longs for you. when overseas, you plague his mind. your eyes, your reassuring smile, the innocence surrounding your persona. someone as tainted as him does not deserve to be accompanied by someone like you. it bothers him that you have now claimed a piece of his heart as yours. he can't, or he won't, take that away from you.

pillow talk was painful– conversations about elopement, a home...children. it was all too intimate, he cringes because he can't give you this. you stick around, he doesn't know why. he prepares himself to find an empty, cold apartment whenever he comes home. but every time your stuff is still there. fluffy slippers, candles, scrunchies, toothbrush. you're patient. you know that it will take time for him to accept your love.