Which Was, Of Course, “I Love You.”

boris is not a very good person. he’s not even a very good friend to theo. like of course there were sweet moments between the two, (him being there when theo had nightmares, etc.) and i understand if you haven’t read the books why you might like him, but because the time that theo was a teenager was so short lived in the movie, we didn’t get a chance to see their relationship develop. like as noted in the first chapter of the book, theo was so against smoking as was his mom. so you can only assume that boris peer pressured him. but it’s also the fact that (this may not be accurate) since theos dad was an alcoholic, the last thing i would want to do is drink alcohol. i noticed throughout the book that theo is 100% a people pleaser. so i can only think that the reason he’s doing these thing is so he doesn’t make boris feel bad or for whatever reason he may feel. i also noticed that in the book as his relationship with boris developed, the way he thought/the way he viewed life changed pretty drastically, much less detailed, much more angered/aggressive, (but his dad probably also played into that)

i remember when kotku came along, 1. boris like immediately started ditching theo (which i’ll get into in a sec) and 2. the way theo thought was definitely different, it was much more detailed and you could tell as theo was thinking back on their relationship there were definitely things he didn’t like. now this was referring to the hooking up, but it’s still something to think about and that is, “i wanted to tell him where i drew the line” (not a direct quote, but it was something like that) also him saying “i told myself i didn’t miss him, but i did.” makes me think of the fact that he knows the things they’re doing is wrong/he doesn’t want to do them.

When Boris and Kotku started dating it was so obvious that Boris can leave Theo for anyone with the snap of a finger if that makes sense, now i understand that they were dating but before Boris’ world consisted of just him and Theo, always prioritizing him, but now it was just him and Kotku, I also understand that he did invite Theo to hang out with them sometimes, but i dislike the fact that Boris completely ignored the fact that Theo was clearly uncomfortable around her. I know this sounds so like argh annoying i guess and i don’t mean to be one of “those” fans who criticize everything, but dear lord i hate how people are romantacizing/idolizing boris and how he acts.

It’s also the way he guilt trips Theo (maybe knowingly, maybe not) and again i don’t mean to be one of “those” fans, but it’s the way he’s like “you don’t want me to get in trouble do you.” “i’m literally going to kill myself.” i dunno it just feels like Boris taking advantage of Theo.

Final thing; i feel like the only reason Theo sticks by Boris is because he knows that Boris will always stick to the same routine, because if you have read the book and you noticed that when his mom died Theo lost all sense of a routine which in my opinion, made Theo feel like everything is falling apart (of course it was but for this i mean in the way of the way he lives not being the same everyday.) The routine consists of them getting high and/or drunk > goofing off > falling asleep (or hooking up 🤗🥲🫶) > throwing up in the morning > being hungover. It seems like it happens everyday, and even though it’s very self destructive it gives something for Theo to hold onto.

(Note: not disagreeing with OP, just had a lot to say on how toxic these two are.)

First off, HARD agree that Boris is kind of a walking red flag. But I want to talk more about how Theo isn’t much better.

LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN cause I have several reasons for this:

1. Theo drank before he met Boris, because Larry and Xandra let him at the restaurant in NYC. To your point about children of alcoholics often not wanting to drink, this is SOMETIMES true. But as the child of an alcoholic myself… it is INCREDIBLY easy to fall into the same patterns as your parents.

2. Theo was not as against smoking as his mother was. He knew that she would hate him doing it, but he very willingly hung around Tom Cable when he was doing it. After his mom died, several of the adult influences in his life did as well—Larry, Xandra, and even Hobie.

3. Mrs. Barbour, Larry, and Xandra all gave Theo drugs at one point or anything. Mrs. Barbour was “helping him” sure. But really fucking weird to give pills to a kid ALREADY ON a bunch of shit prescribed by his therapist.

4. Theo has violent episodes in the book. Like he is just as violent towards Boris as Boris is towards him, and to an extent, he’s crueler about it.

5. Boris is allowed to be friends with and date people who aren’t Theo. And yes, he wants his friend to like the girl he’s into. Theo doesn’t have a real reason to dislike Kotku other then he feels like she’s “stealing” Boris. (I think Kotku and Boris’ relationship was INCREDIBLY toxic, but no more so then Theo and Boris’ tbh).

6. Theo’s habit of getting super weirdly possessive of people is something that is a HUGE red flag, too. Mainly thinking of the way he hated people looking at his mom, how he is with Pippa, and how pissed he was about Tom getting with Kitsey even though Theo doesn’t really give a shit about her. Theo finds a person and builds his entire life and personality around them. And when they start to pull away from that, he gets clingy and creepy.

7. And like Theo is SO. FUCKING. CREEPY, especially when it comes to women. God, the way he thinks of Pippa? The letter he wrote and the shit he pulled before he left for Amsterdam? Makes me physically ill.

8. Obviously, Boris grows up to be a criminal. But uh… so does Theo. A good one, too. Just because his criminal activity is white collar doesn’t make him any less of a shady dude.

9. When Theo and Boris parted, Theo could’ve gotten his shit together. He had Hobie and a place to call home. But no, he stuck with the drugs. And yes, part of that can be attributed to Boris, but it’s unfair to assign all of the blame to him. Theo is his own person and he is capable of change and making his own damn choices.

10. Everything we see is from Theo’s perspective, and he is the textbook definition of an unreliable narrator. Between his blackouts, his drug abuse, his tendency towards being a pathological liar, and his frankly holier-than-thou personality… I don’t trust a damn thing he says. If he doesn’t like a person, they are written as if Satan himself birthed them. And if he likes them, they’re written like angels.

Honestly, both of these boys are so incredibly toxic. Like for real. Some of the things Boris says in the book genuinely make me have to put it down. But, really, Theo isn’t much better. If I saw them irl I would run like a bat out of hell. But they are also both incredibly traumatized. Not that this excuses their behavior, but it at least provides some context.

And I feel like the fact that they aren’t good people is what makes it all feel so real. Because most of us DON’T feel like good people a lot of the time. People who are good all of the time don’t exist and they don’t feel realistic. And these are a couple of fucked up kids in fucked up situations who if I’m honest remind me wayyy too much of people in my life (Boris for example reminds me a lot of my uncle, while Theo reminds me of this boy I went to high school with).

I don’t know. I feel like it all comes down to something Boris says towards the end of the book. (I’m about to paraphrase, I’m too lazy to go and open the book) He goes on about how good can come from bad and all that, and how Theo sees everything in terms of black and white, good and bad, Before and After, etc. While Boris is very away that he and Theo live in the grey.