I hate how i cant tell people about my bpd its a struggle not being stereotyped

if i look back, i am lost
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@borderline-and-wine
I hate how i cant tell people about my bpd its a struggle not being stereotyped

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I wander sometimes
What would have happened
If i killed myself
Last may
Or at least attempted
Who would i have effected
what damaged would i have done to them
What my family would have thought
How i would have been treated differently
From when i was caught
Before i attempted in 2017
Would the hospital feel different
Would the people at my job look at me different
I will never know
But sometimes i think about these things
And just wander
Only👏a👏tiny👏percent👏of👏people👏with👏mental illness👏hurt👏others👏
I have had to say this a lot lately therapy is not scary nothing will get better if you don't put the effort in
The virus has effected my mental health so much unable to get meds and thing i think more could have been done for citizens.

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MENTAL ILLNESS IS NOT A QUIRKY TRAIT
Why is it that a lot of people self diagnose with bpd. It affects like 1.6% of the population and i don't think they are all online.
My first poem
I feel like my eating disorder(bulimia purg with diet pills) isnt enough and i hate it
This is something i wrote 3 or 4 years ago and im happy im in a better place.
Tears dripping from my eyes, and shallow breaths. I lay in a hospital and think about the decisions that led me here. I do this to myself but i cant stop. Its like an addiction I cant seem to shake. I am constantly in pain, and i love it.

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Because i posted my most viewed i figured i'd post my least viewed
Concept: Although people with BPD struggle with intense emotions, I am in some ways okay with that. I get to love things and people more passionately than most can. We may have really low lows, but no one can take away how passionate and caring we really are. Sometimes love can balance out the pain.
This is absolutely true
I didn't write this to long ago and i shared it on a poetry website its my most viewed thought i would share it here to.