Boracay Hater

and so much site traffic within 2 hours of my #Laboracay Instagram post !

Laboracay - the annual man-made catastrophe that draws swarms of douchebags and airheads to this island. If you think we're exaggerating, see for yourself, look up the hashtag and prepare to be blown away. Phase 1: The Preparation We feel the excitement, the eagerness, the anticipation... to be the beach gods/goddesses that they are in time for #Laboracay 1.

Thank you for sharing your regimen for those ravishing arms. We'll make sure to notice them when you're here. 

2.

Oh no. OH NO NO NO! He's not going to make it. CANCEL LABORACAY he's going to need more time! 3. 

Counting + the + days = 3 words. Someone teach her to count or she might miss the biggest event of her life.

4.

I would like to know where this guy gets his confidence and definition of "ripped". Maybe his intricate, golden mirror is the magical kind that tells you so? 5.   

What do you call girls who refer to their stomach as tumtum? Clue: it rhymes with tumtum.  6.

Life is so unfair. Fuck our life. You've been drinking and drinking and you still have those fuschia pants?!! 7.