Wouldiwas Shookspeared

The zipper on my pants made a weird lump when I sat down, and Bre’s son pointed at it, turned to her, and very matter-of-factly said, “That’s his nutsack.”

HEARTWARMING: This Gender Affirming Toddler Sees No Difference Between Trans and Cis Men, Threatens to Kick Me in the Dick Every Day

now that i think about it a lil, i don’t think spoiler paranoia is ruining movies. the movies they’re making are already bad and soulless and the reason they’re paranoid about spoilers is because if you already know who lives and dies at the end of the avengers… you don’t need to see it anymore. the movie doesn’t stand on its own. they’re just dependent on people that are already invested in the characters. 

movies are supposed to have more substance than just twists. like, the relationships with the characters. but the avengers don’t really have those do they? i’ve seen almost all of the marvel movies and i don’t think any of the main crew are like, actually friends? if all your movies have is big twists than of course spoilers are gonna ruin it for people. spoilers are all you got!!! nobody says stuff like, spoiler warning, the Hulk and Thor have a heartwarming moment by the campfire. That is shit that you have to see to experience. Good movies can’t be ruined by spoilers. 

How many movies have entire subcultures around rewatching them? Like LOTR or Harry Potter or Star Wars. If your movie can be ruined by a spoiler for a twist than like…. it’s not rewatchable. And if it’s not rewatchable than it isn’t good!!

Also HP and LOTR are based on books which millions of people read before going to see the movies. People went in with very exact expectations of the major events to take place.

Did you think the mouse was just smooth and had yellow skin like a little Simpsons demon

So my boyfriend came out as trans last night and I realized something… back when we first started dating we identified as lesbians, then I came out as trans and consequently realized I’m bisexual, and now I’m in a gay relationship. So what I’m trying to say is that I have actually been LGBT as a singular person. Every single acronym. I have ascended and reached gay nirvana

Bold of you to assume that both can’t happen in the same night

i’ve had an awful morning but my lyft driver is named thor

he got lost on my campus and it took him a bit to find me so this car pulls up and rolls down the window and i’m greeted with this bearded dude who asks: “lucy????” and i had the genuine joy of replying “thor???”

seriously if you cant be in a monogamous relationship, just break up with your partner and be in an open relationship with someone else. its that simple. its 2019. open relationships are a thing to prevent cheating from happening because there’s consent that you and the partner who consented can see other people while you two are in a relationship. if your partner doesnt consent to an open relationship or if you’re in a monogamous relationship and cant be in one, then just dont be in one. your partner who wants a monogamous relationship doesnt deserve the emotional pain of being cheated on. or just stay single too and fuck whoever you want. dont commit to someone if you cant commit to being loyal to them

!!

this was the single greatest moment in modern television