broken jaw

i personally like to think a-yeon‘s favorite painting from francis bacon’s portfolio is his 1954 figure with meat. more specifically, it’s something like the figure with meat is a long held favorite since she was a child but as of late, for whatever reason, she’s taken more interest in the may-june 1973 triptych than she ever did as a child. while i personally view figure of meat as a painting that’s meant to show the world as it is in all of it’s raw agony (the idea that people, as much as we play them up and give them meaning, are all flesh and blood and animal at heart; something i think is very symbolic for how a-yeon views the world), the may-june 1973 triptych is visceral and poignant. something more emotional, something full of the loss that comes with caring. i like to imagine her never being able to understand it or interact with it her entire life, not like she could resonate with any other painting, and kind of sidestepped it despite it being his most emotionally charged work. maybe she admired it, but she couldn’t really connect to it; not like she’s beginning to be able to now. not to say that she understands even a minuscule amount of bacon’s grief, but more the idea that she is possibly beginning to understand how the painting could have been created & what emotions it was borne from. how does loss exist? how does guilt exist? because of love, because of care.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYYYYYYYYYY????????

it's just so interesting to me how ryujin's presence is a constant nuisance that stands against essentially everything sayeon believes in and wants. it's not just that they're opposites, but that because they're opposites, sayeon ends up caring about and consistently being drawn to her. ryujin can see through sayeon like nobody else can and is a huge brick wall in the face of all of sayeon's plans, even if they have the same goal. whether it be sayeon wanting to get revenge, or wanting to keep her gift a secret, or wanting to use her teammates without caring for them, ryujin somehow manages to breach every wall she’s built up just by existing. she doesn’t work hard or learn, but somehow finds a way to get a hang of sayeon in a way that sayeon can’t have for her plans to work. and yet, for some inexplicable, odd reason, sayeon constantly loses restraint with her, lets herself get pulled into a dozen conversations that foil all her plans just because she desperately wants to say something to ryujin and can't help herself. her powers aren't concrete and are constantly ever changing; they’re not a variable sayeon can concretely predict. but for whatever reason, cold, calculated, strategic sayeon still keeps getting too carried away, risking everything in the hopes that she'll be able to rewind afterwards. practically all of her slip ups are with ryujin, slip ups she can’t have, and for whatever reason, she doesn’t distance herself at all despite that. Hm.