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thanks for your interest: why'd you have to bring this up

would you be so kind: fucking do it

best: i have never physically met you

all best: this conversation is over

all my best: i wish you would die

happy to help: this is the easiest thing in my inbox

i hope this helps: i've done all i'm willing to do

i did a bit of research: i googled it, because you're too lazy to

sorry to chase: answer my email

so sorry to chase: answer my FUCKING email

i am really sorry for being a pest but: i am LIVID that you are ignoring me

please contact my colleague: this isn't my problem

i'm copying in my colleague: this isn't my problem and i am thrilled about it

i'll check and get back to you: i might forget to

i'll let you know when i hear anything: i will forget to

can you check back with me in a week?: i'm hoping you will forget to

per our earlier conversation: i just yelled at you on the phone

great to chat just now: you just yelled at me on the phone

thanks!: i'm not mad at you

thanks!!: please don't be mad at me

thanks!!!: i'm crying at my desk

please advise: this might be your fault

kindly advise: this is entirely your fault

mind if i swing by?: i'm already in the elevator

can you confirm for me: you told me before and i deleted the email

sorry if that was unclear: i think you're an idiot

let me know if you need anything else: please never contact me again

Reblogging to add a direct quote that I used today -

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Child of Rage: A documentary about a young girl who was sexually abused when she was a year old. She has a desire to murder her entire family and carries out numerous disturbing tasks. 

The Scariest Drug in the World: Scopolamine is a drug that when taken keeps a person coherent but makes them open to follow commands. It’s been used to make people steal, as a rape drug and a way to humiliate people. It’s known as a “chemical hypnosis”. This film documents people’s experience with it.

Demonic Possession and Exorcism: The footage you are about to witness contains highly disturbing material. 

An Interview with a Cannibal: An interview with a man named, Issei Sagawa who committed a pretty horrific crime. He butchered and raped a young Dutch women because he wanted to absorb her “energy”. He spent 3 days consuming her flesh. 

The Bridge: A film on the Golden Gate Bridge, which captures the number of suicides. Many describe it as a powerful documentary, that leaves a lasting impression.

High on Crack Street: Shows just how badly crack ruins lives.  A great portrayal of the harsh, dark side of drugs. 

Aokigahara/Suicide Forest: A geologist walks through the forest and shows us what he sees. Definitly contains some depressing material.

Atomic Wounds: The effect of a nuclear weapon on a mass number of people. It’s disheartening, it’s horrifying, but it’s reality. 

Just Melvin, Just Evil: A documentary about a tormented family who suffered from sexual abuse and substance abuse because of one man. It leaves you wondering how can one man be so destructive?

Earthlings: One of the most intense documentaries made about animal abuse. Footage contains graphic material.