Me

(The best of this post and its reblogs, but with links that work)

Here is a website where you can scroll down to all the different levels of the ocean 

Here is a website where you can see the future of the universe

Here is a website where you can press a ‘make everything okay’ button, over and over, until things really are okay

Here is a website that you can read if you feel like a burden

Here is a website where you can look at strobe illusions (TW strobe/flashing)

Here is a website where you can cut stuff up (TW blood/sh)

Here and here are websites where you can play with sand

Here is a website where you can draw with macaroni and other fun foods

Here is a website where you can paint someone’s nails

Here is a website where you can grow a garden with emojis

Here is a website with hundreds of videos of people hugging you (rightfully dubbed ‘the nicest place on the internet’ because it really is, y’all, it made me cry)

Here is a website that will take you to other useless websites

Here is a website where you can make a tiny cat play bongo drums (and other instruments!)

Here is a website to help give you gentle reminders <3

Here is a website where you can grow a tiny farm

Here is a website where you can take a bunch of scientific personality tests

Here is a website of calm rain noise

8/20/2017

Violet: Forty five seconds?!?

Tairn: No! I said four TO five seconds.

NO! She's just special, okay? She's is Violet fucking Sorrengail, she bonded two dragons! And keeps them!

I wish there was a way we could get like...temporary amnesia maybe? But be able to select what we want to forget.

For example, I’d like to forget reading some of my favorite books. So I can reexperieence reading them for the first time.

Like, reading the Harry Potter series over again.i was 9 when the first book came out. I’m turning 30 soon. I want to experience reading them anew.

Or my other favorite book series. The Song of the Lioness Quartet by Tamora Pierce. I read those as a young teen and have read them countless times since.

Or maybe watching a favorite show/movie over again. That would be amazing!

Just to experience the magic of the first time I read a beloved book or watched a favorite thing on tv. Just...yeah!

Lots of my favorite vines are old ones, so here are some that I didn’t want lost to the wind

Blender is an excellent freeware 3D renderer,possibly better than After Effects

Lightzone to replace Lightroom

Inkscape to replace Illustratr

Audacity to replace Audition (I also received a free version of Pro Tools with my Scarlett Solo audio interface)

Wynonna:

Waverly:

Nicole:

Dolls:

Jeremy:

Bobo:

Champ:

The next time someone has to risk their lives, you’re it! Yeah, fine, no problem! I mean, as long as I haven’t been roofied again by my best friend!

Bonus:

“You can’t be a racist if you’re married to someone who is a POC.”

Can’t you? Men usually marry women, and they hate women every day. Men are fathers and that doesn’t stop them from being rapists and child molesters. Maybe they are capable of loving women - they’re just not capable of loving them as equals, so who wants that?

“Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez powerful response to Republican’s sexist attack

The New York congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said the insults a Republican colleague was heard saying to her on the steps of the US Capitol on Monday are part of a larger problem faced by all women.

The Hill reported that Ocasio-Cortez was confronted by the Florida Republican congressman Ted Yoho. He apparently said she was ‘disgusting’ for saying of spiking gun violence in New York this month ‘is a problem of a diseased society, which neglects its marginalized people … policing is not the solution to crime’.

“How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?”

“I- I’m sorry?”

“A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso?”

“Oh. uh. Well, it’d be I suppose… I only have a button for a Quad. I don’t have special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single… drink.”

“Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many ‘add shots’ is that?”

*deep breath of fear* “It’d be a quad with,” *clears throat* “uh, sixteen additional shots of espresso. But, ma’am, I should tell you that the shots will start to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them-”

“Taste means nothing to me.”

At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being.

“Oh. Well, okay.” I put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. “We can certainly get that for you! The price will be _____.”

She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden Sacajawea dollar coins. We are a block from Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden coins. My life will end soon, I am sure of it.

“Do you still have the ‘Add Energy’ packets?”

My heart began to race at this request. “Yes ma’am.”

“How many can I add?”

Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. “For health reasons, we won’t add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets individually.”

“One then.”

I alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and five golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and pass, but this was … not something to be spoken aloud.

My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol, until she sees the order. She stares at me. “No.”

The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her terrifying being is within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a commanding tone I expect of Admirals in bad movies, “Yes.”

My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutiful, we are true to our task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand new Mastrena’s of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring. 

The barista was damn near shaking. This woman’s gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place.

Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn cup.

Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy. And horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that.

When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about “The Company” as if we’d never left, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this story, other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus, 

Her: “I want you to know that I double checked the number of pumps on this next drink and it’s correct”

Me: “ok, why is it a lot?”

Her: “just know that it’s right.”

So I go okay man, because she is already helping another customer and I have drinks to make. And I look down to read the sticker I just pulled and it is for a Trenta iced coffee, no ice, 40 pumps of classic syrup.

And the other person on bar is like: “maybe she added an extra zero on accident”

And I say, “no she told me she double checked”

And the barista on register confirms “that’s what he asked for.” And points to a guy in a hoodie with a buz cut who looked to be in his 30’s.

So I buckle down and my fellow bar barista counts with me as I pump 40 pumps of classic syrup. (And other barista know that if you put your hand over the cup as you pump it to keep syrup from going everywhere, it splashes up and makes your hand all sticky, well my hand felt like one of those rubber sticky hands you get from the prize box at school, except my hand was industrial strength stickiness with the amount of syrup on it.) So i finish pumping and it is about three inches of pure syrup.

Lets do some math! I looked it up and a Starbucks hot bar pump is around 0.25 oz. multiplied by 40 means this drink had around 10 oz of pure sugar. This is in a trenta, the largest size available at 32 oz. and he got no ice or other add ins. Which means this man was ordering about a 2:1 ratio of coffee to sugar.

A thought i had was “maybe he’s taking it home to water is down” because people do that sometimes. But as I called it out and handed it to him he took a straw and took a sip. He said nothing that I remember. No comment, no response to my usual “Thank you, have a nice day!” No readable emotion. And he walks out the door. We had never seen that man before and we never saw him again.