Whoa, slow down, Maurice.

Tru

A human getting pissed at their vampire boyfriend so they put in a silver sterling tongue stud and bracelets and earrings and their vampire boyfriend is just standing five feet away like “babe. c’mon.”

#’what are we having tonight’ ‘italian’ ‘TALK TO ME’

#I AM DISTRAUGHT #THEY LITERALLY GO FROM HIGHSCHOOL-ESQUE ENEMIES TO FIRENDS IN THE SPAN OF A DAY #A ///DAY/// #THEY START OF THINKING THEY KNOW WHAT THE OTHER STANDS FOR #BUT FIND OUT HOW SPECTACULARLY THEY WERE WRONG #AND IN THE PROCESS #DISCOVER #THEY MUCH PREFER #WHO THE OTHER WAS UNDERNEATH #ALL ALONG - via dirtyovercoats

i feel like mr. brightside is one of those songs you’re gonna hear on the radio in the car 20 years from now after not hearing it in forever and your gonna just start sobbing bUT ITS JUST THE PRICE I PAY DESTINY IS CALLLLINGNG M E and your kids are gonna be like is she okay

FACT OF THE DAY: president obama does not have a plan in case the fire nation attacks

plot twist: it’s because we’re the Fire Nation

#YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[walks provocatively towards you] [lays across your lap seductively] [gazes into your eyes passionately] [whispers] you should really watch Batman: Under the Red Hood

I can’t even Händel these puns.