videogames? no thanks

everyone on the block hates me because I have to take my pet loose sheet of aluminum siding on a walk every day at 3am

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

How is it that you can a music library of like 1,200+ absolute bangers but as soon as you put it on shuffle in a group setting it's like. anime opening you added in 2010. homestuck parody song. musical artist who was cancelled last year for kidnapping and eating children in his basement. Hamilton

I can't believe some people are actually reblogging this like "Tch. Omg, so embarrassing OP, I can't believe you would ever admit to liking Hamilton 😏 " like ok, first of all congratulations for hatching as a fully formed adult in 2022 from the pure white egg of a virgin swan i guess. Raised in a cave on a diet consisting solely of nuts and berries and leftist twitter clapbacks. "ooooooh, I've never had a complicated relationship with a piece of art that was phenomenally well-received at the time but aged like milk as later reflection revealed the fundamental flaws in its premise that were in fact present from its inception but which I didn't notice because I was 17 and hadn't heard of neoliberalism yet" Should we throw a party? Should we invite Anthony Fantano? Anyway second of all. you draw the line at Lin Manuel Miranda but you're fine with basement guy?

(no beers in) i could really go for a beer right now

(two beers in) mmmm (slaps my belly) i could use another beer right now

(five beers in) (attacking strangers) (frightened animal backed into a corner) (blood stains the cracks in the pavement) (mothers wait for sons who will never come home) (flags rest still at the bottom of their poles) (the birds are silent and the wind does not blow) (there are no clouds in the sky) (there is no more water in the well)

a warthog is a thog specialized for use in war

yiou can only reblog this post on july 17th dont reblog it on any other day or you will be boiled

you can't boil me it's july 17th