BombadeerPain

"smart appliances" fuck u i want them dumb as a brick and incidentally as sturdy and enduring

first rule of storing tupperware is have fun and be yourself. second suggestion is slam the cabinet door quickly and don’t worry ‘bout it.

the spirit is unwilling and the flesh it feels not so good also

playing stupid games but im really bad at them so im not even winning the stupid prizes

living under a rock is so fun i love watching a movie that’s been famous for decades and being like wow this is so good.. did you guys know about this

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

My favorite form of redemption arc is “I hate that I have morals now”

Like “I realized that I was in the wrong and now I will work hard to atone” is good and all, but “how dare you infect me with morals” will always be so much more entertaining

This one gets it

man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great

going on a guilt trip do yall want anything

if you really cared about me you wouldn't have to ask

And also the indestructibility of that woman's ankles

t-shirt with the words “high-functioning corpse” printed on it