Tw: mentions of child abuse and predatory behavior towards minors.
Yesterday a friend told me that Billy not only deserved but was responsible for the whole grooming situation with Karen for acting “mature” and “instigating” the situation. I don’t entirely blame them for this point of view because unfortunately it’s a common opinion, even now. I watched a video talking about this, I’ll leave the link below.
In this video she makes a wonderful point. It’s the adult’s responsibility to be mature and turn a child down. Even if they flirt or “instigate” the situation.
Although society has gotten better understanding situations where an older man victimizes a younger woman, there’s a major double standard with younger men and older women. It’s not seen as being problematic at all.
Billy acting mature is a trauma response. He was forced to parent Max when he was still a child. Neil calls Billy derogatory names and humiliates him when he acts weak so Billy learned to hate his own weaknesses. This abuse started when Billy was a little boy. Even then he was forced to act older than his age, like when he tries to defend his mother. Despite this, Billy is still deeply emotional and displays childish behaviors, reminding us of how young he is.
“Mature for their age” is often a phrase used to victim blame. Billy takes on a bad boy appearance, he shows his body off by choice because his body is how he gets what he wants. This is prevalent even when Billy’s first introduced. He knows that people lust after his body so Billy wears tight clothes. The camera loves to focus on his chest or butt at any given option. Even Billy working out is a way to preserve his ace card. The body people lust after.
Now back to Karen. Even when they first meet, Karen is shown to be infatuated with his beauty and therefore his body. As Billy leaves, the camera focuses on his butt, objectifying him again. Of course Billy also flirts with Karen but it’s debatable if he’s genuine or just trying to get information. Billy is 17 here.
I don’t believe that Billy ever had feelings for Karen. What happened between them was a mutual search for validation. Karen wanted to feel loved and valued which is arguably fine (if she searched for it in someone her own age.) Billy wanted an escape from his abusive household and arguably wanted to feel mature and loved, something he doesn’t get at home.
They are both vulnerable, flawed people. However, Billy is still young, just barely 18. Karen is a grown, middle aged adult. She should know better than to take advantage of Billy’s vulnerability while fulfilling her own desires.
If the genders were swapped I think people would understand how problematic this relationship is. It would be like Nancy dating Hopper. That’s weird.
Just because a child flirts with an adult that doesn’t mean they’re “asking for it” or that they deserve it. Aria Montgomery, Jules Vaughn and Dolores Haze are all hyper-sexualized children like Billy who are often blamed for their loose morals in the media, real life or both.
All this to say that Billy deserved better. His mom should’ve protected him instead of abandoning him to take her place as Neil’s object of abuse. If only Billy had a positive mother figure in his life like Joyce, I guarantee he would’ve had the opportunity to heal.
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