Untitled

I was quite young when I found out my family was full of bad people. I guess not necessarily bad people - more so they would let bad things slide.

I took it pretty harshly, my whole sense of self breaking in the process. It built me to be on guard in most situations, never giving myself a break.

that was a while ago, I haven't really had that attitude since. though, there are times where something i would've caught then, i had been oblivious to now.

_____________________________

a lone sheep to a stubborn herd / missing someone who no longer exists

there were many nights where i laid my head on my pillow, owned by my mother before i

breathing in the scent of her hair, i wondered where it all went wrong, how i could've prevented it all

tears burn down my cheeks, praying for her embrace.

i didn't know it wouldn't feel the same. i want it back but.. i don't.

never forgive, never forget. if i did, what would that make me?

_______________________________________________

bathroom conversations - an analysis

earlier this week, I encountered a girl in the bathroom. we had the same idea, wasting time in the bathroom to avoid a particular class. she was the same as most of the girls I run into except she reminded me of a particular person I know, we can call her J.

you could probably imagine my surprise to hear the words: "I hate her" come out of this girls mouth when referring to J. which, was quite peculiar; circling back to my earlier statement. from the way they talked; tones and vocabulary, to their mannerisms. Hell, even their thought process, you could see which cogs were turning with each word that would leave their mouth. if you had met either of them, you'd understand what I'm talking about to a greater depth.

this was really quite interesting to me, seeing how this girl talked about J, talking as if they shared a mutual hatred (not that I would know). it kept me thinking, how can these girls, so similar, feel such a hatred toward one another? lucky for you, I have an answer.