Back on my bullshit

I'm 145lbs of disgusting, ugly, repulsive FAT and I need to put that out there to the world so I can regain the motivation to change it.

Note to self:

My teacher once told me that when you're taking a test, your first answer is usually the right one. So don't second guess yourself, and go with your gut.

How do you cure emptiness? What am I supposed to fill it with in a world where nothing real exists? Yet we ignore this reality by filling ourselves with futile endeavors. We hide our fear of inadequacy behind status, wealth, achievements, relationships, material belongings, education, friendships, cliques, sports, hobbies- anything. Anything just anything to kill the time and make our fleeting attempt at memorializing ourselves in history. Our desire to be remembered by someone, somewhere, for something drives us to avoid looking the beast in the eye and having to come to terms with our complete inability to accomplish anything of lasting meaning or value. We are born, we live, and we die, and we return to the ground.