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Because what do you mean they went to the batting cages for some silly fun to watch everyone flail at an unfamiliar sport, only for Shane to need three practice swings before figuring out the force and timing needed to start hitting every single pitch? What do you mean he sets the course record at the mini golf place they have the Pike twins birthday at? What do you mean he learned how to play cricket over a long weekend in the UK? What do you MEAN your Canadian ass that grew up on a calm, tiny lake went to visit Rose in LA and just learned to surf from “some guy” one of the days she was busy??

Shane doesn’t get why they all think it’s so crazy. He’s a professional athlete, he’s good at full body and mind control as well as adaptability and hand-eye coordination, and he’s so used to being the best in the world at hockey that he views being mundanely good at anything else as barely noticeable. He argues with Troy over whether he counts as being good at basketball just because he killed them all at the basketball shooting game at a Dave and Buster’s

They all start making bets to see who can find a sport Hollander isn’t good at. Harris is convinced he’ll win with figure skating because Shane’s muscle memory will want to work against him with a technique that’s so similar but also so different, only for Shane to come out of an afternoon learning from his old friend who was at the Olympics with the ability to do simple jumps and spins and is insisting the whole team learn so they can incorporate it into plays. Harris is not allowed to make suggestions after that

"I think that was our first date."

Ilya frowns at him. "What?"

"I mean, kind of?" Shane says. "At least our first date in public."

Ilya stops to consider and realizes that holy shit, Shane might be right. Still, "It was just coffee. If I am taking you on a date, it will be somewhere much nicer. Someplace with candles."

Shane shrugs. "I've heard coffee is a pretty classic first date activity, actually."

They've reached the door and as Shane goes to unlock it, Ilya leans against the door frame with a teasing grin.

"It was a good date then?" he asks. "Maybe nice enough that you want to invite me in?"

Shane feels a giddy rush and has to fight to suppress his smile. "I don't know. I'm pretty sure that's more of a third date activity."

"You are Mr. Dating Expert now?"

"Just don't want you to think I'm easy."

"You are easy," Ilya says, wrapping his hand around Shane's waist and tugging him in close for a kiss.

After they're finished fucking, Shane says something to the effect of, "I can't believe I used to go months without this."

And Ilya, as smug and satisfied as the cat who got the proverbial cream, replies, "Bet you wouldn't have held out for two years if you'd known what getting fucked felt like, huh?"

"Maybe," Shane says. He's still kind of out of it, so the next words slip out thoughtlessly, "I mean, I wanted to when we first planned it. I just kind of freaked out when it fell through and you left me on read."

Ilya's heart drops. "What do you mean?"

Shane does not pick up on his change in tone. "Just made me feel like I was alone in how much I wanted it. Obviously when you kept messaging me I realized I wasn't but it took a while to get over that feeling, y'know?"

They are also, crucially, having the filthiest and nastiest sex that two guys in their twenties with an extremely willing monogamous partner can think up. Things are WILD. They are Yes And'ing each other in ways that they are legit going to have to process by sitting quietly alone in a room for an entire day at some point in the future.

They're going at it raw, of course. Ilya is spitting in his mouth and making Shane thank him for the privilege, then calling him a slut when he does. Shane is letting Ilya chase him through the woods. He's wrapping Ilya's fingers around his neck and begging while Ilya tightens his grip. Ilya decides at one point that if Shane can't come on his cock alone then he doesn't get to come. Shane doesn't receive oral a single time at the Cottage without having to swallow his own cum. Ilya walks around with a piece of gauze on his forearm because Shane bit him and drew blood. Ilya fucks Shane with his nose way up inside Shane's armpit the entire time, huffing and licking. Ilya comes on Shane's face in the shower and Shane is so far down and loves the feeling of being marked so much that he asks Ilya to piss on him. Shane is never more than two minutes away from having Ilya's tongue or dick in one of his holes, no warning given aside from a command to spread his legs or get on his knees.