Josh's News Source™

marleau at ilya's bachelor party is like the puss must be insane and ilya punches him for saying that about his husband to be and marleau is like haha yeah man right on you really love him. and then they hug. meanwhile hayden and shane are having beers in front of shane's fire pit and hayden whos been reading articles about allyship and normalizing your friend's queerness is saying I knew I loved Jackie the first time she made me her mom's lasagna :) when did you know? and Shane says I knew for sure when he came to me after the 2012 home game that we won 4-3 in OT with a split lip and I tasted his blood

My headcanon of the day is that Ilya is not used to getting calls from family members unless they need something from him. Nobody ever calls him (maybe apart from Shane) to just simply check up on him. So the first time David calls him on a random day of the week, asks him about his day, hands the phone to Yuna to do the same—Ilya is a little confused as to why these people are just randomly calling him. He even texts David after they've hung up to confirm if they needed something and have just forgotten to mention it. When David texts back "no son we just wanted to check up on you" Ilya sits and stares at that text until he feels his throat close up and there's an odd sting in his eyes.

shane and ilya may not change their names legally after they marry but i know ilya makes all their dinner and vacation reservations under hollander. i know he's ilya hollander in his heart of hearts. to him they are The Hollander Household. they send christmas cards with 'love, the hollanders'. it's real to me

kinda feel like Ilya letting “Shane” slip out during the tuna melt sex scene was a result of Ilya letting himself moan Shane’s name during his jacking off seshs and he had gotten a little too comfortable letting it slip out whereas when Shane says Ilya’s name back it’s because it had never occurred to him he could say just Ilya’s name out loud so he tries it out and then it felt so good he spooked himself like a horse

ilya mentally preparing for fucking war and shane goes "i can't dress, i hired someone to help me"

it's important to me that ilya remains captain of the centaurs after shane joins, but i have a specific picture in my mind of shane being assistant captain and being generally harmless and super chill , so the centaurs see him as like the chill parent (something to be said about shane being content in letting someone else, specifically His Someone, have the reins and enjoying not being in charge) but then ilya has to be out for a few weeks for like health or smth so shane goes into Captain Mode and the centaurs are scared shitless by how intense he gets all of a sudden. the most intense drills of all time. the hardest plays they've ever heard of. the strictest practices on earth. and they suddenly understand why shane led the metros/voyagers to victory so many times and why ilya treats him like the boss in their relationship. and then as soon as ilya comes back he turns it off and the centaurs are like Oh Thank Fuck Because What The Hell Was That

Montreal will understand how fucking dumb they are for the whole "you let Rozanov win" bullshit when they pull out the data and realize that the worst game they have ever played against Boston was in 2016 when Shane was with Rose and they won 1-0

they didn't realize that dick was his charging station

the thing about heated rivalry is beyond the actual hockey games it's never shane vs ilya. it's shane vs the shame or ilya vs the horrors but they're always walking towards each other. always together, even when they can't pick up their heads and see it. so yeah shanegirl this ilyagirl that but do not forget that from whence you came (the hollanov combination torture nexus/sex dungeon)

tonight i am thinking about book shane saying “they weren’t you” when ilya asks him about the two other guys he hooked up with. and just. the implications of that. they weren’t you. almost the entire foundation of what i know about sex has been built around you. imagine my surprise when i hooked up with other people and they didn’t grab my jaw and kiss me soft and all over. they didn’t pin my wrists above my head or make me cum without touching me. what did i think about? nothing. everything. the fact that i am ruined for anyone else. that i didn’t even let them kiss me on the mouth because i didn’t want to erase the last time you did it. that i didn’t want to be there at all and it wasn’t the first time i’ve had that feeling. because i never desired anyone before you and i’ll never desire anyone else again. they weren’t you.

i think it is incredibly cute that both shane and ilya unequivocally consider the beginning of their relationship to be the summer before rookie season, like even tho (book canon) they both still see other people for years after that point and only saw each other max 4-5 times a year and weren't official until like 2017 it doesn't matter to them that first time is what counts more than any technicalities because from that moment on they were absolutely gone on the other, even if it takes them years to admit it