I don't know why I even try

being one of the most misunderstood characters in one of the most popular shows ever, hated by almost everyone in the fandom, being surrounded by people, yet still feeling alone.

he’s one of the most precious characters to ever exist. comforting his brother, making sure he doesn’t feel the same trauma he felt and went through with his dad at the age of 11–12. not even a teenager yet, and already taking on responsibility.

having to plan a whole funeral for his brother at only 16 years old, not even a legal adult. not having ANYONE to help him, paying for everything himself. blaming himself for will’s disappearance, having gone through so much trauma and abuse that he has to look in his father’s trunk to make sure his brother wasn’t abducted.

even in season 4, caring so much about everybody but himself. getting high, yet the only thing that mattered to him was his brother’s happiness and whether he was okay or not. not telling nancy that he didn’t want to go to emerson, just because he didn’t want her to change her mind and ignore what she wanted, all because she wanted to be with her boyfriend. giving her all the independence she needed, something you don’t find in many relationships.

always being there for his brother, even if he wasn’t will’s first choice. proudly watching from the sidelines was jonathan’s forte.

The fact that he is from Marseille where people were brutally repressed and mass executions took place.

The fact that he had to watch his city be renamed "ville sans nom" (the city without a name).

The fact that he watched the French revolution brew within his home.

The fact that he most likely became a counterfeiter because it was the only way to survive, and to keep his wife and their eventual children alive.

The fact that he was set forward onto the path that led him to being forced to fight, to invade, only to die far from the one place that he had watched so many die for, from the only people he had left in the world.

Only for him to wake up immortal.

With dreams of Andromache, Yusuf, and Nicolo, and of Quynh being tortured beneath the seas.

And the knowledge that if he had died amongst his people in France all those years ago he would have been met with the same fate:

Watching as his own language, Occitan, dwindle into endangerment, and eventual extinction, by nothing more than time.

When he wakes from a death the connection to his wife and children reset, he must teach himself that they are gone every time.