BENNY SPIEWAK

Every move made by LeBron James on and off the court is reported, analyzed and speculated on by the media (see: The Decision), which is why I was surprised no one called him out for taking his endorsement talents from State Farm to Progressive. 

Since his return to Cleveland (home of Progressive HQ), King James has co-starred in a series of Facebook and Instagram posts with Progressive's spokeswoman (and fellow Binghamton alumna), Flo. In an impressive show of restraint, the insurance giant has decided to make this a social-based content play despite their $600MM annual ad budget.

A lot of people questioned LeBron's loyalty when he ditched his hometown for Southbeach but the media seems to have gone easier on him for switching his car insurance. Maybe it just has to do with the Cavs' benefits package.

Even State Farm is taking it in stride - at least according to this EXCLUSIVE interview I secured with Jake from State Farm:

Ironic that the formal name of the campaign is "The Switch".

As I write this, Black Friday crowds are forming outside Walmarts across the country. It's a pretty scary thought given that the side effects include sleep deprivation, frostbite and death - but the promise of 20% off firearms can make it all worth it.

 (I hear the pink camo gun comes with a matching scrunchie)

Despite this time-honored tradition - or because of it? - I've noticed an uptick in gun safety PSAs which attempt new strategies beyond shock tactics like seeing co-workers shot in the face.

This spot (NSFW if you don't W somewhere cool) uses humor to point out to parents that there are things they keep in their rooms that they wouldn't want their kids finding. Shouldn't guns be one of them? 

Some friendly Canadians at Grey Toronto highlight the absurd fact that at Kroger supermarkets you CANNOT bring in a scooter, outside food or pets but you CAN bring your firearms. More on the campaign here.

...and if you're still looking for a good 'ole crap-your-pants shock PSA (which is actually unintentionally hilarious) here you go.

I nerd out out on branded content it. That may be weird. But I've noticed that branded content is getting weird itself.

Fast Company's 'Comedy Is Getting Weirder' talks of how Tim Heidecker and Wareheim are 'quietly redefining mainstream America's sense of humor' through their TV production studio, Abso Lutely. They're doing the same thing with branded entertainment as 2 of their latest projects demonstrate.

For GE (not the first brand that makes you think 'weird') they created a lightbulb infomercial with Jeff Goldblum:

Last week, they went straight to crazytown to sell Totinos pizza rolls: 

The video, whose tagline is "Fun Harder" drives viewers to a site full of weirdo content like '16 Signs You're a Pizza'.

While these are pretty out there, they match their intended audiences quite well. GE reaches a younger demo while still featuring a well-known actor known for his weirdness. The Totinos work, which seems custom built for Adult Swim, will hit college kids right as the munchies set in.

One of the most blatant/funny/well done branded entertainment placements I've seen on a TV show was for VW on the Abso Lutely-produced Comedy Bang! Bang!:

I'm not a passionate man. This became clear to me when a job application I was looking at asked for some words on something non-work related that I was passionate about. 

The first thing only thing that came to mind, was my concern for an epidemic that only seems to be spreading... 

"While often ignored by the lamestream media, I believe one of the most pressing topics of our day is the proliferation of individuals cutting their fingernails in public. We all agree that cutting your hair on the bus is a no-no. Shaving in line at Starbucks is unacceptable. So why does nail clipping get a pass? I noticed this trend years ago on the subway platforms of New York but assumed I would never hear the grating, unmistakable noise of metal-on-nail walking the streets of LA.

To my horror, within a week of moving here I saw a tour guide clipping his nails outside a souvenir shop – an establishment where his tour group could buy…LA-themed souvenir nail clippers.

Who buys nail clippers as souvenirs?

Who sells nail clippers as souvenirs?!

It was then that I realized the influence of the Nail Clipper Lobby (“Big Clip”) and its deliberate strategy of preying on the American people at their most vulnerable –

1. on vacation,

2. with spending money,

3. most likely clipper-less!

(Did you know nail clippers are NOT banned by the TSA? That’s just a nasty rumor spread by the industry to sell more clippers. PROOF: http://1.usa.gov/1zq8GRT)

While I know I am just one man, I hope my passion for this cause will raise awareness and begin a conversation about this important subject."

I'm feeling really good about getting a call back from recruiting on this one. Fingers crossed!!!

“Courage is found in unlikely places” ~ J.R.R. Tolkein

"Apparently a movie theater is not one of them" ~ Benny Spiewak

Humans are special. We have the ability to learn, to grow, to better ourselves. And while I may not be the epitome of self-improvement, I like to think that when it matters most I'm a man of Integrity, Conviction and Courage.

Turns out I was wrong. You can spend a lifetime molding yourself into the man you wish to be but all it takes is a teaser trailer for The Purge: Anarchy to play in a dark movie theater to let you know exactly what you are.

It was a night like any other. I went to see Divergent with the Mrs. (which I mention to make you think she picked it). It was already not the manliest of circumstances. We saw some coming attractions trailers (when did they become 'trailers'?) for films of the same genre - Hunger Games IV, Hunger Games V, possibly Hunger Games VI. Then one came on that featured Matt Saracen Zach Gilford. It was nice to see a familiar face and I was excited to see what QB2 QB1 he'd been up to. Spoiler Alert: he's gonna die. We're all gonna die.

(Warning: be sure the lights are on and you're sitting on your mom's lap)

For those of you who didn't see the original The Purge in 2013...I can't help you. I'm too scared to even read the IMDB page. From the billboard this is what I gathered: For some reason - I'll assume it's a mix of government cutbacks and police union contract concessions - all laws are suspended for the night (because where's the fun in daytime lawlessness). I think Ethan Hawk plays the union chief. Can't be sure. You may find details here.

(We should be boycotting CBS Outdoor)

Anyway, here's what happens when you see a trailer for The Purge 2. In a dark theater. On an IMAX screen. You know - instantly - who you really are. There are just 2 choices: Purger or Purgee.

And I am the Purgee-iset of the Purgees.

It turns out, I've had a Purge plan my entire night. I just needed the crap scared out of me to find it. As the horror unfolded on screen, my inner dialogue jumped into action: "Dumpster. You'll jump in a dumpster. Just lay low in the garbage for 12 hours. LITTERING IS LEGAL! Who wouldn't take advantage of going full-on litterbug with no consequences? That's the first law anyone would break." This thinking makes it clear why I fall squarely into the Purgee category.

(Someone told me the first thing they would do is light a dumpster on fire. Lamest. Purger. Ever.)

I assume there are others I know who have put more thought into a Purge Plan than I have. Hopefully they're stockpiling weapons and I can bake them a cake or something to get on their good side. But how does that work? When there is complete lawlessness, can we count on others to pay us back for baked good solids we did them - clearly with ulterior motives? Something tells me it becomes more of a "what have you baked for me lately?" scenario.

Anyway, I assume you're still reading because you want to hear my review of Divergent. I liked it but think I would have been more enjoyable if I hadn't pooped my pants during the previews.