ASOIAF has often been accused of cynicism. I blame the show GoT given while Martin is an admitted romantic, Benioff and Weiss are clear cynics, trading Septon Meribald and his Broken Man Speech along with Sandor's reform for Septon Moon whose pacifism gets himself killed and Sandor picks up the sword again, portraying the smallfolk as sheep who support Cersei after she murdered the popular Tyrells and High Septon by burning Baelor's Sept and coupled with their misogyny, character assassinating Ellaria Sand by trading her being the voice of reason and the diverse Sand Snakes for an Orientalist parody. Not to mention their admiration of Tywin, missing that his legacy quickly crumbles after his death.
When looking at the cynical characters of the Lannister siblings and Sandor Clegane, cynicism doesn't make them better characters or better at their respective roles. They have all witnessed the hypocrisy and problems of their respective institutions but their cynical responses don't even help them, but paper over trauma.
Jaime is pretty cynical when we meet him. He joined the Kingsguard out of sexual persuasion by Cersei, only to be picked as a slight to his father and serve a mad king who burned innocent people. He gives up after killing Aerys, and no longer tries to live up to the values of his chivalry, just focusing on Cersei. Instead he becomes someone who pushes a child out of a window and is unapologetic about it, and is abusive towards Brienne. He is defensive when remembering the look Ned gave him after killing Aerys, because apart from his apparent bastard, he knows Ned has nothing that Jaime could pin on. Deep down, for all that, Jaime is still a very unhappy person.
He also sucks as a commander. His impatience results in him getting captured and his siege being lifted, nearly costing his family the war.
That boy had wanted to be Ser Arthur Dayne, but someplace along the way he had become the Smiling Knight instead.
-ASOS, Jaime VIII
After he loses his hand, he realizes he did not like the person he had become post-kingslaying. His relationship with Cersei was not the chivalric romance he thought but one-sided and toxic. He wasn't the father he wanted to be to his children, and his value was solely in his martial ability, otherwise he was a shit person and shit knight. It's also when he finally does find a healthy relationship with someone else that he starts to shed his cynicism.
If even half of what we heard was true, this was a bitter, tormented soul, a sinner who mocked both gods and men. He served, but found no pride in service. He fought, but took no joy in victory. He drank, to drown his pain in a sea of wine. He did not love, nor was he loved himself. It was hate that drove him. Though he committed many sins, he never sought forgiveness. Where other men dream of love, or wealth, or glory, this man Sandor Clegane dreamed of slaying his own brother, a sin so terrible it makes me shudder just to speak of it. Yet that was the bread that nourished him, the fuel that kept his fires burning. Ignoble as it was, the hope of seeing his brother's blood upon his blade was all this sad and angry creature lived for . . . and even that was taken from him, when Prince Oberyn of Dorne stabbed Ser Gregor with a poisoned spear."
-AFFC, Brienne IV
Sandor, arguably one of the most cynical characters, disdains knighthood, pointing out the hypocrisy among the upper classes with Gregor knighted by the Prince of Dragonstone himself after he permanently scarred Sandor. That childhood trauma is largely where his cynicism stems from. He also has no fear of the gods, seeing as they did nothing to stop Gregor when he hurt Sandor. Deep inside, he never outgrew being the angry, wounded child.
He also says Ned killed because he loved it which the reader knows is not true, having been inside Ned's head and his words. He doesn't want to consider that Ned actually did try to live honorably and had something to live for, because that would lead to the question of what is Sandor's excuse? Sandor speaks of the knights' abuse of the smallfolk, only to engage in those same abuses against the smallfolk. Ned never killed children while Sandor ran down an innocent child and laughed about it. He also cheated a ferryman saying "knights are liars" when he himself is not a knight.
His only reason for living was killing his brother, his tormentor, out of vengeance. When that was taken from him, his life seemingly became empty. He did not love, so he had no one waiting for him. He had no other goals, and when he was dying his regret was not his failure to kill Gregor, but his failure to protect Sansa. Near death, he realizes he did not really live a life worth honoring.
Cersei is a ruling queen who grew up fully aware that she was a woman in a misogynistic patriarchal society that restricted her from power. She believes that all men are beasts even as she wants to be the patriarch of the patriarchy. Her cynicism does not make a better ruler, but arguably the opposite. She believes people act only to profit themselves, and miss that people act of more than self-interest but also out of higher ideals like Ned. She also thinks people will put up with her just because her family holds the Iron Throne, overlooking the anger buried beneath with the families of the victims of the Red Wedding already moving against her.
She also offers nothing in terms of new ideas other than changing the titles of the small councilors, just for reasons of vanity with no "masters" at her small council. The new fleet she built is stolen by her master of ships. She thinks she bought Tommen's blessing by appealing to the High Septon's desire for military power only to be outplayed by him.
If anything, the characters that try to hold onto their ideals are often not just better people, but also do better at their jobs.
Daenerys has just as much reason to be cynical as Cersei having grown up in poverty, raised by an abusive brother and sold into marriage to a khal in spite of Viserys's ubermenschen proclamations of dragons not mating with the other beasts in the field. She also lost everything by the end of the first book, and realized that one of the people she trusted most, Jorah, betrayed her by the third book after he made creepy, unwanted advances on her. Yet, she does not respond with cynicism, but tries to help the weak as exemplified by her slave liberation campaign.
None of her idealism makes her an incompetent monarch. If anything, while Cersei got dealt a full house with the Iron Throne secure with the Lannister-Tyrell alliance and is managing to drive it into the ground, Daenerys started with nothing and built an army and kingdom from the ground up. What's more, it was living up to her ideals that led her to free slaves and obtain her army and kingdom.
Arya is driven by vengeance seeing her father murdered and people she grew up with die. That's followed by seeing more people she knew killed in the riverlands, abused at Harrenhal and seeing her mother and brother killed at the Red Wedding. She has more reason than Sandor to want vengeance. Yet, she never kills someone purely out pleasure. She does not kill children, but there is largely an element of justice to her killings with the last being a Night's Watch deserter and a child killer. Arya also manages to make friends along the way like Hot Pie and Gendry to name a few. In saving Jaqen, she secured herself three "wishes" and an education at the House of Black and White. She also deep down desires the home that was taken from her, and still has one. It was when that was denied her that she chose the Faceless Men. The chances are unlike Sandor, she will eventually decide to abandon her quest for vengeance when she realizes that she has something else to live for, like her remaining family.
Brienne had to deal with misogyny since day one on her path to knighthood. Her fellow knights in Renly's army made a cruel game to take her maidenhead. She was falsely accused of killing her beloved king, and now even Catelyn is dead at the Red Wedding with the orchestrators being rewarded. Worse, Cat is now undead and threatening her with hanging both her and her squire if she does not lure Jaime. However, Brienne still adheres to the ideals of chivalry, saving an inn full of orphans despite being outnumbered. Brienne even manages to inspire the recovering cynic Jaime Lannister who gave her his Valyrian sword and win his heart, even if he hasn't admitted it yet.
In short, cynicism does not for a better world make. If anything, the cynics of the series use it as an excuse to do all kinds of awful things from child murder to brutalizing the smallfolk. They also don't lead happy lives, but try to drown the sorrows in wine and taking it out on others, managing to make themselves unpopular at best and hated at worst. The ones who try to live up to ideals at least have something to strive for, and find more fulfillment. Their adherence to their ideals also attract friends, wins them admiration and can even encourage others to follow their example.
That is seen simply through Ned and Tywin's legacies. Ned's family is overthrown and his bannermen are working to restore his family to Winterfell and rescue his ostensible daughter. When Tywin's daughter is imprisoned by the Faith, none of the Lannister bannermen come to her aid except Kevan and that is to remove her from power and take the Regency.
Ned gave them something to aspire to while Tywin gave them something solely to fear.
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