“Don’t be sorry,” Janet says. “Hey, I’ve told you about my ex-husband, haven’t I?”
Sam makes a disgusted face. “The chauvinistic asshole who wouldn’t let you join the Air Force?”
Janet laughs. “Yes. And he was, believe me. But, believe it or not, that’s not the only thing I was considering when I decided to get divorced.”
“Really?”
“Mhm. You see, Sam, I—” Janet falters, tries covering it up with a smile. She takes a little breath before she continues. “You know, because of my ex, and because of my family growing up, joining the military meant accepting that I’d never be a real woman.”
Sam scowls. “A “real” woman?”
Janet rolls her eyes. “Yep. My military career, it goes against everything I was ever taught I was supposed to be. That wound has healed, now, but, back then, god, it was suffocating. Womanhood felt like this never ending goalpost I’d been chasing all my life. I’d never been good enough, even as a little girl. But if being a “real” woman means making choices for my own life that I don’t want to make, if it means having to share my success, my home, even my body with a man, and sacrificing my life to raise his kids, I don’t want it. So when I divorced my ex and joined the Air Force, that was me letting it all go. I decided I was never going to do anything I didn’t want to do, ever again. Including…” She chuckles, eyes narrowed as she nervously picks at a seam on the couch. “Well, I’m sure you can probably guess by now. You’ve never heard me talk about a man, have you?”
“No,” Sam says, suddenly realizing that over the last three years, she hasn’t heard Janet talk about her dating life at all— or lack thereof, apparently. How did she not notice until now? Her brow furrows slightly. “You’re saying you never want to get married? To retain your freedom? Or… do you not date at all?”
“No, I date. Though, I guess not so much since Cassie came along. As for marriage, I mean some laws would have to change, but, even then, I’m honestly not su—” Janet squints and taps her finger repeatedly. “Sam, you do know what I’m trying to tell you, don’t you?”
“I…” The furrow in Sam’s brow deepens. She tilts her head. “Sorry, Janet, I’m not following. Is there something you’re not saying?”
Janet chuckles. “Sam, I’m gay.”
