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For all the horrible things I've done and all the lies I've told, I'm sorry.

If I was ever there for you I will always be there for you. Whether we're friends anymore or not, in here for you and your success. I'm sorry.

So many of the mistakes I've made, I've made out of fear and insecurity. To all the people I've lost as a result, I am so sorry. I miss you.

If this ever gets to friends I've hurt and lost. I am so sorry. I miss you.

I would do anything I could to get the people back in my life that I've messed things up with

I've ruined so many relationships with people I care about and love to this day all because of dumb mistakes I've made

Today someone else from my old high school died. I didn’t know him, don’t know if I’ve seen him before. But I know some of my old friends were close to him and even though we’re not close anymore, seeing them hurt, hurts me. I'm praying harder than ever that one day we all make it through. Not just my high school, but the world. I pray that us as a people push through. I pray that everyone is able to get and remain clean, safe and happy.

I'll never get used to people dying.

Why do people convince me they'll be around forever just to leave? Why do I push people away before they get an opportunity to even stay?

Why do I get so attached to other people?

Maybe I think to much. Actually, I'm sure I do. But if I don't think of all possible scenarios, how can I ever prepare?

It's not that I'm trying to push everyone away. It's just that, as people get closer and closer to me I get overwhelmed with all of the things that could possibly go wrong.